Posted on 04/04/2014 5:47:49 PM PDT by JoeProBono
BESSEMER CITY, N.C., A North Carolina man who never says “hold the mayo” will be held for all eternity in a Duke’s Mayonnaise jar when he dies.
Larry Clinton of Bessemer City has been searching for a suitable resting place for his cremated remains for over 20 years.
Thanks to his daughter, the 67-year-old now has a custom-made Duke's jar that has a label bearing his name.
Clinton’s daughter, Teresa Clinton-Edge, sent a letter the parent company of Duke’s to request a jar for her father’s remains.
“She sent a very nice letter saying her father had always loved Duke’s Mayo and included a funny story about her father being at a funeral and telling his wife ‘I’d like to get buried in a jar,’” C.F. Sauer executive vice president Mark Sauer told ABC News.
To Clinton-Edge’s surprise, the company was happy to oblige.
“They were custom all the way,” said Sauer. “We took the basis of the label and with the swirl on the bottom and put his name in there. His daughter said he was just delighted. I know it sounds -- well I don’t know how it sounds -- but you almost have to do this. It’s somebody’s last wish so it takes a couple of days and a few bucks from us.”
Clinton is happy to have the jar -- but he’s hoping he won’t have to use it anytime soon.
“My father eats Duke’s Mayonnaise on everything: peaches, pears, baloney sandwiches, banana sandwiches,” Clinton-Edge said. “He says he cannot remember a time that Duke’s wasn’t a part of his family and the food. I’m 43 and that’s the only mayo we’ve ever eaten.”
she was kinda of mousey
The real Mr. Hellmann sold his Mayo door to door in Astoria Queens, my Grandma would buy it.
Country ways an’ all...you never knew what she was gonna pop out with next.
Her name was Whinny.
Dern my hearing I alwus thot it was Minnie!
One says that he would like to spread Pat's ashes over a lake because they had such a ravishing time on Pat's boat, and Pat could sail, yet again.
The second said he would like to throw Pat's ashes in the air while skydiving because they had such a fabulous time in Pat's private jet, and Pat could fly, yet again.
The third wanted to spread Pat's ashes over a bowl of spicy chili and eat it......so Pat could tear his ### up, yet again.
There was an episode of the old show "Night Court" where something similar to that happened, and the deceased was accidentally brewed up :-)
My last wife came up with the idea of making a bust of the deceased using the ashes from their cremation. I thought it was a really neat idea. She was quite an artist.
“I got nowhere else to go!” Mayo Naze
Aren’t we dating ourselves here? Perfect analogy, JPB.
Another great Short Story By Ford is “The Jail” published by Playboy in March of 1974 or 75. The story of a radical New York 60’s hippie, a Columbia law school grad who had an encounter with a wanna be sheriff in the South, and finds himself locked in Sheriff's secret jail for a decade.
I go back to Arkansas a couple of times a year to visit family and we always have a 30-40 person get together in a local park with tons of food. I got through the line, sat down, and took a bite of potato salad. I spit it right back out and said.....God what is this crap? spitting and spitting all the time. lol
Someone had made potato salad with Miracle Whip. You are correct. That is some nasty stuff.
What a weirdo. A mayonaise jar?
I am going to be buried in a capped beer bottle ;-)
I looked at the label today when I was making chicken salad for sandwiches. The Kraft Mayo with Olive oil lists the ingredients as ‘Water, Olive Oil, Canola Oil, soybean oil, etc. So if the ingredients are listed in order of percentages of the product I am left to believe you are wrong.
You are wrong. Olive Oil is the second ingredient on the list so there is more water than olive oil, but more olive oil than canola oil or any of the other ingredients which follow.
Incorrect.
Duke's has soybean oil and no canola oil.
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