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North Carolina man will spend all of eternity in a Duke's Mayonnaise jar
upi ^ | April 4, 2014 | Evan Bleier

Posted on 04/04/2014 5:47:49 PM PDT by JoeProBono

BESSEMER CITY, N.C., A North Carolina man who never says “hold the mayo” will be held for all eternity in a Duke’s Mayonnaise jar when he dies.

Larry Clinton of Bessemer City has been searching for a suitable resting place for his cremated remains for over 20 years.

Thanks to his daughter, the 67-year-old now has a custom-made Duke's jar that has a label bearing his name.

Clinton’s daughter, Teresa Clinton-Edge, sent a letter the parent company of Duke’s to request a jar for her father’s remains.

“She sent a very nice letter saying her father had always loved Duke’s Mayo and included a funny story about her father being at a funeral and telling his wife ‘I’d like to get buried in a jar,’” C.F. Sauer executive vice president Mark Sauer told ABC News.

To Clinton-Edge’s surprise, the company was happy to oblige.

“They were custom all the way,” said Sauer. “We took the basis of the label and with the swirl on the bottom and put his name in there. His daughter said he was just delighted. I know it sounds -- well I don’t know how it sounds -- but you almost have to do this. It’s somebody’s last wish so it takes a couple of days and a few bucks from us.”

Clinton is happy to have the jar -- but he’s hoping he won’t have to use it anytime soon.

“My father eats Duke’s Mayonnaise on everything: peaches, pears, baloney sandwiches, banana sandwiches,” Clinton-Edge said. “He says he cannot remember a time that Duke’s wasn’t a part of his family and the food. I’m 43 and that’s the only mayo we’ve ever eaten.”


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food; Society
KEYWORDS: dukes; dukesmayonnaise; mayonnaise; northcarolina
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To: editor-surveyor

http://www.kraftfoodservice.com/productsandbrands/spreads/spoonables/KRAFTCalorieCruncher.aspx


61 posted on 04/04/2014 7:29:43 PM PDT by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: bigheadfred
when I look at a jar of mayo images run through my head of gerbils


62 posted on 04/04/2014 7:35:58 PM PDT by Fightin Whitey
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To: Fightin Whitey

she was kinda of mousey


63 posted on 04/04/2014 7:43:19 PM PDT by bigheadfred
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To: JoeProBono

The real Mr. Hellmann sold his Mayo door to door in Astoria Queens, my Grandma would buy it.


64 posted on 04/04/2014 7:44:08 PM PDT by Empireoftheatom48 (God help the Republic but will he?)
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To: bigheadfred

Country ways an’ all...you never knew what she was gonna pop out with next.


65 posted on 04/04/2014 7:48:56 PM PDT by Fightin Whitey
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To: Fightin Whitey

Her name was Whinny.


66 posted on 04/04/2014 7:59:39 PM PDT by bigheadfred
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To: bigheadfred

Dern my hearing I alwus thot it was Minnie!


67 posted on 04/04/2014 8:05:45 PM PDT by Fightin Whitey
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Three homos were sitting around trying to decide what to do with the cremated remains of their gay friend Pat.

One says that he would like to spread Pat's ashes over a lake because they had such a ravishing time on Pat's boat, and Pat could sail, yet again.

The second said he would like to throw Pat's ashes in the air while skydiving because they had such a fabulous time in Pat's private jet, and Pat could fly, yet again.

The third wanted to spread Pat's ashes over a bowl of spicy chili and eat it......so Pat could tear his ### up, yet again.

68 posted on 04/04/2014 8:22:59 PM PDT by Repeat Offender (Why are cops ROE more lenient against us, here in the US, than U.S. military's ROE's in a war zone?)
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To: MHGinTN
"I want my ashes in an Arabica beans coffee can."

There was an episode of the old show "Night Court" where something similar to that happened, and the deceased was accidentally brewed up :-)

69 posted on 04/04/2014 8:28:49 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: Joe 6-pack

My last wife came up with the idea of making a bust of the deceased using the ashes from their cremation. I thought it was a really neat idea. She was quite an artist.


70 posted on 04/04/2014 8:40:43 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: bigheadfred

“I got nowhere else to go!” Mayo Naze


71 posted on 04/04/2014 9:11:52 PM PDT by tumblindice (Are all Democrats inveterate, habitual liars?)
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To: JoeProBono

Aren’t we dating ourselves here? Perfect analogy, JPB.


72 posted on 04/04/2014 9:50:45 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: JoeProBono
“Whiskey And Pickles” A short story by Jesse Hill Ford around 1994 appeared in Southern Magazine about a woman who placed her parent's ashes in those respective bottles, Old Granddad and Sweet Gerkins, displaying them both on the mantle as they loved the contents. She tells this story to a little boy who was fishing the creek in front of her mansion and was invited into the house for a glass of lemonade.

Another great Short Story By Ford is “The Jail” published by Playboy in March of 1974 or 75. The story of a radical New York 60’s hippie, a Columbia law school grad who had an encounter with a wanna be sheriff in the South, and finds himself locked in Sheriff's secret jail for a decade.

73 posted on 04/05/2014 12:30:32 AM PDT by urbanpovertylawcenter (the law and poverty collide in an urban setting and sparks fly)
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To: urbanpovertylawcenter


74 posted on 04/05/2014 3:55:49 AM PDT by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: hoagy62

I go back to Arkansas a couple of times a year to visit family and we always have a 30-40 person get together in a local park with tons of food. I got through the line, sat down, and took a bite of potato salad. I spit it right back out and said.....God what is this crap? spitting and spitting all the time. lol
Someone had made potato salad with Miracle Whip. You are correct. That is some nasty stuff.


75 posted on 04/05/2014 7:40:23 AM PDT by sheana
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To: JoeProBono

What a weirdo. A mayonaise jar?

I am going to be buried in a capped beer bottle ;-)


76 posted on 04/05/2014 8:59:34 AM PDT by Organic Panic
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To: Organic Panic


77 posted on 04/05/2014 9:22:11 AM PDT by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: editor-surveyor

I looked at the label today when I was making chicken salad for sandwiches. The Kraft Mayo with Olive oil lists the ingredients as ‘Water, Olive Oil, Canola Oil, soybean oil, etc. So if the ingredients are listed in order of percentages of the product I am left to believe you are wrong.


78 posted on 04/05/2014 2:12:52 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: editor-surveyor

You are wrong. Olive Oil is the second ingredient on the list so there is more water than olive oil, but more olive oil than canola oil or any of the other ingredients which follow.


79 posted on 04/05/2014 2:14:32 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: editor-surveyor
All mayo is garbage now. It all has Canola oil in it.

Incorrect.
Duke's has soybean oil and no canola oil.

80 posted on 04/07/2014 1:14:06 PM PDT by Constitution Day
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