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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 03/07/2014 4:43:41 AM PST by Lucky9teen



For those who believe anything...(I got this in an email):

Dear Customer!!!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirm able Package that is registered with us for shipping to your residential Location. We had thought that your sender gave you our contact Details. It may interest you to know that a letter is also added to Your package.

We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of $750,000.00 USD, FedEx does not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but can ship Bank Drafts. The package is registered with Us for mailing by your colleague from United Nations Organization, and Your colleague explained that he is from the U.S.A but he is currently In Africa for a three (3) months Surveying Project as he works with a Consultant firm in Nigeria, We are sending you this email because your Package is been registered on a Special Order. For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your Colleague before your package was registered. Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify That the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF). This will help you Avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country.

However, you will have to pay a sum of $105.00 USD to the FedEx Delivery Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the parcel Been registered by your colleague, FedEx Company as stated in our privacy Terms & condition page.

Please note that packages are not shipped nor delivered on Saturday, Sunday and on holidays. If your order has been placed on any of these days, Then it may be shipped the following business day.

Kindly complete the below form and send it to the FEDEX DELIVERY POST With the below information's. This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone numbers.

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
SEX:
CITY:
STATE:
OCCUPATION:
COUNTRY:

FEDEX DELIVERY POST

Contact Person: Mr. Lambert O. James.
Email: lambertjames361@yahoo.com
Phone: +2348161185018

**ALL PACKAGES ARE SIGNATURE REQUIRED.

If you have any other questions or concerns, Please feel free to contact us between Monday & Friday: 9:00am ? 9:00pm EST
Saturdays: 10:00am ? 5:00pm EST
Sundays: 10:00am - 4:00pm EST
Have a great day!
Federal Express Co-operation.
FedEx Online Team Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2014.


Human Kindness should be contagious...IMO Not silly, but very heart warming...

 

You have to STAY AWARE at all times!

 

 

Anyone watch those fishing programs on TV? This is a hoot!

 

 

The most precious little conductor How precious!!

 


A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town's grouch So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."

Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.

"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.

So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"

Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.


When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the wretched crop................

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.



Anagrams for Barack Hussein Obama

"BHO: Unmask a race bias."

"Bask, a no-Bush America!"

"Ouch, man! A bias breaks."

"Arab 'E' maniac KOs Bush." 

"Baha bankers IOU scam."

"O' I mash bareback anus!"

"A Shabbi Sack O Manure."

"A such Arab? Ask, I'm ebon."

"Asks, "Can I be a, ah, um, bro?"

"Arab Osama Bin he suck."

"Babushkas On, America!"

"Bank Him....B.O. USA-Caesar."

"A man hacks our babies."

"Abuse a charisma knob."

"HRC's a nuke-Asia A-bomb!"

"I am a bourse cash bank."

"O, man, I scare Babushka!"

"O, Cuba ranks him as Abe?"

"Can B. O. bar Sheik Usama?"

"I am a hack, abuser, snob."

"I am a hacker's anus bob."

"Arabic-shaken, USA mob?"

"Heck, USA, I'm an Arab SOB!"

"OK, ambush as nice Arab."

"Bam! (As I KO an HRC abuse.)"

"He sucks an A-bomb aria."

"Ban Bush, soak America."

"Obama bin Shark-Sauce."

"O Arabic snake, ambush!!"

"Aka a bomb has sin cure."

"AKA American HUB Boss."

"I am a bush snake (cobra)"

"Broke Bush as a maniac." 

"I, Arab sham, beckon USA."

"A bohemian 'Arab' sucks!"

"Caramba! Obedient Spark."

"Bad skeptic or mean Arab."

"Sneak barbaric, mad poet."

"O, embrace drab Pakistan!"

"An Arab backed imposter."

"Break combat and aspire."

"Arab base, pink Democrat!"

"Macabre Bonaparte, kids!"



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; putin; silliness; ukraine
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 03/07/2014 7:22:38 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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To: onyx

42 posted on 03/07/2014 7:24:49 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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To: Lucky9teen

Please do me a favor and forward the FedEx e-mail to abuse@fedex.com. I know some people over there and they could use some silliness today.


43 posted on 03/07/2014 7:25:03 AM PST by Ingtar (The NSA - "We're the only part of government who actually listens to the people.")
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To: BenLurkin

44 posted on 03/07/2014 7:26:26 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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To: BenLurkin

LOL.


45 posted on 03/07/2014 7:27:05 AM PST by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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To: Lucky9teen

"Stuff Being Thrown at My Head," a photo series by Latvian photographer Kaija Straumanis

46 posted on 03/07/2014 7:27:57 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Arrowhead1952

I think I might try this...
47 posted on 03/07/2014 7:30:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: onyx

48 posted on 03/07/2014 7:30:38 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: The Chief
Bizarre Holes

These holes are not only amazing, but some are
really terrifying! The sheer scale of these holes
reminds you of just how tiny we are.

Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa



Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the
world, this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons
of diamonds before being closed.

Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California



A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and
water needs to be drained from the reservoir. It is the
largest spillway of this type in the world and consumes
14,400 cubic feet of water every second.

Great Blue Hole, Belize



This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue
hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There
are numerous blue holes around the world, but none
as stunning as this one.

Sinkhole in Guatemala



This photo is of a sinkhole that occurred in Guatemala.
The hole swallowed 2 dozen homes and killed at least
3 people.

Bingham Open Pit Copper Mine - Utah



The mine has been in production since 1906, and has resulted in the creation of
a pit over 0.6 miles (0.97 km) deep, 2.5 miles (4 km) wide, and covering 1,900
acres (770 ha). It was designated a National Historic Landmark in 1966 under
the name Bingham Canyon Open Pit Copper Mine.

SHOITE HOLE, Washington D.C..



This hole swallows trillions and trillions of U.S. Dollars
annually! The money that falls into this hole is never heard
from again, nor do we see any good come from it.

It is reported to be filled with thousands of "e$$ holes."

TRULY AMAZING!
49 posted on 03/07/2014 7:32:11 AM PST by TheOldLady
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To: BenLurkin
I'll follow you any where...
50 posted on 03/07/2014 7:34:12 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: martin_fierro

51 posted on 03/07/2014 7:36:40 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: RandallFlagg

52 posted on 03/07/2014 7:40:14 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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53 posted on 03/07/2014 7:42:24 AM PST by RandallFlagg ("I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it." --Quigley)
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To: BenLurkin

54 posted on 03/07/2014 7:46:52 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Dead Corpse

Ok, that’s just cool. I loved the show “Heroes” and I personally, think it’s awesome they are bringing it back, even if only for 13 episodes.


55 posted on 03/07/2014 7:48:16 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

I loved the first couple seasons, then they went epic fail.

Would rather they brought the cast/writers for Firefly back for another 12 episodes.


56 posted on 03/07/2014 8:09:17 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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57 posted on 03/07/2014 8:09:44 AM PST by RandallFlagg ("I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it." --Quigley)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
A woman came to my door selling magazine subscriptions. She said if I bought five she'd take off half. I asked her how much she'd take off if I bought them all.

She said, "Everything but my bracelet"

58 posted on 03/07/2014 8:10:08 AM PST by Baynative (Got bulbs? Check my profile page.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Cool! But make sure the paint is dry before you turn on the fan...


59 posted on 03/07/2014 8:11:01 AM PST by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: Lucky9teen
 photo 1654211_646061225429104_606380936_n_zpsdf2e34ba.jpg

 photo 1977152_626067514107579_2069295507_n_zps5d7b5224.jpg

 photo 14867_639128472789046_2030514005_n_zps8feffa27.jpg

60 posted on 03/07/2014 8:14:59 AM PST by dragonblustar (Psalm 37:7)
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