Well, I’m not about to jump into the ocean fully clothed with a photographer just because you don’t want to acknowledge what is apparent to most people.
You can take photos of you right there on the floor. Put on a shoe with a light sole, put a camera on a tripod a little bit away from you, and try to simulate the position Fuddy would have had to be in to get the full oval of your sole to show to the camera.
I double-dog dare you.