Posted on 02/14/2014 4:47:47 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Funny Valentines day quotes
I trust you plan more for Valentines Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.
I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony is missing a ring.
Whats does my perfect Valentines day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.
If youre alone during Valentines day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentines day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.
Today is February 14th St. Valentines day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.
To comfort your sister if shes alone during Valentines day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.
My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentines Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.
Happy Valentines Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever
Valentines Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.
Please remember that Valentines Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!
Love doesnt have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.
It would be great if Valentines Day came with a fast-forward button.
Im only in this for your cute butt. Obviously. Happy Valentines day.
I love you just the way I am
A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!
I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.
Darling, will you be my player number 2?
To be happy with a man you have to understand him a lot and love me a little. While with the women its vice versa: love them a lot and dont even try to understand them. Happy Valentines day!
I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.
You would be perfect (if only you lost 20 pounds)
I need to fall in love, because I havent had any problems for a long time. Happy February 14th!
You have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your prince on the horse.
You should leave office earlier today so your colleagues will think you have some romantic plans for Valentines Day.
I wish you would be my emergency contact person one day.
Im celebrating no need to celebrate Valentines Day.
Congratulations! You are my first repetitive Valentine.
I suspect you was cheating, your gift for me was too amazing.
I want to say thank you for the flowers Im going to send to myself and pretend are from you.
USMC Best Joke of the Year
A Marine squad was scouting north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.
The Marine reported, I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low life scum bag who got what he deserved. He yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left-wing Commie who isnt even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!
And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.
ya beat me this morning!
Top TEN!!!! YAY!!!
FRIDAY....and its above freezing here
Top Ten!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Biden is a Silliness Thread, in and of himself. LOL!
355? To figure out how old this line is, I will need to consult with an astronomical physicist to determine what the rate of decay in the Earth's orbit that would equate to this author's 356 day year.
Happy Frid-alentine's-day.
Top ten?
Good morning, and Happy V-Day!
yes he is! LOL
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