***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Official photo of Justin Bieber's arrest early yesterday morning.

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A thousand private jets are planning to land in New York for the Super Bowl.
New Yorkers said, "Well, at least SOME Jets are headed to the Super Bowl." ~ Fallon

"Yesterday the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks advanced to the big game, which means this year’s Super Bowl will have teams from the two states where recreational marijuana is legal. Or as pizza delivery men put it, 'Pray for us.'" –Jimmy Fallon

.

"On Friday, Russian President Vladimir Putin said gay people at the Olympics should not fear for their safety despite the country's anti-gay laws. He said they should fear for their safety because they're in Russia." –Jimmy Fallon

"The White House announced that President Obama will visit Pope Francis in the near future. Pope Francis thinks Obamacare can be a success. Sure, he's the Pope. He has to believe in miracles." –Jay Leno

"Health authorities say they're seeing a massive increase in antibiotic drug-resistant diseases and are predicting a worldwide epidemic of diseases we can no longer treat. That's great news, huh? We finally get healthcare and now we've got diseases you can't treat." –Jay Leno

"Health officials are now warning that pot smoking can cause apathy. In fact, a recent poll shows that most pot smokers couldn't care less." –Jay Leno

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Someone has made fake London Underground signs, and whoever did it is a ruddy genius. Click here for more.

[fredhead]

Ping me!! Ping me please!!!!

[Lucky9teen]

[Nea Wood]

I’m not on the ping list, so please put me on the ping list, so that I can be on the ping list.

Thank you!

[Travis T. OJustice]

Congratulations on the grand kid! Mine just downloaded overnight. Now I need to practice being a bad influence. Cheers, Jim

I have Mountain Dew for the grandkids right before they go home. :)

[wyokostur]

PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE..Keep ME!!

[Ingtar]

Please to be keeping me on the ping list. Friday silliness is being the highlight of my piteous week.

[llevrok]

As they are getting in mom and dad’s car to go home after a gallon of mountain dew at your house, tell them you have REALLY good hearing. Ask them to scream as loud as they can when they are close to home and you’ll tell them the next time you see them if you could hear them or not.

[zeugma]

Better than the double star trek facepalm!

[zeugma]

Keep me on the list. Whoever did the subway signs is a genius. (geez, I just mispelled genius. Thank Goodness my spell checker noticed)

[BenLurkin]

Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette.
He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I’ve never before heard – I’ll let you go..”
The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.” “Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .” When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ‘cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”
The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’”

Y’all kin say whut y’all want ‘about the South, but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North.

[Ingtar]

[Big Mack]

Pls consider my hand raised.

[onyx]

Keeping Free Republic Alive with YOUR Donations!

PLEASE Make Yours Today, Monthly if you can!

[Hoffer Rand]

Here!!!

[fredhead]

“Y’all kin say whut y’all want ‘about the South, but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North.”

That’s what happened to my hair. It ain’t gone, it just retired and moved south.

[Lucky9teen]

[Conservative4Ever]

This, Game, Sucks

[jimtorr]

Please be aware that while my hand is raised, I am only making a silly gesture.

[gymbeau]

LOL! My wife and DIL would undoubtedly start calling it “Mountain Don’t!”

cheers
Jim

[NEMDF]

Please add me to ping list. And thanks for the GREAT silliness threads!