Posted on 12/30/2013 6:20:46 AM PST by LucianOfSamasota
NORTH CHARLESTON, SC -
A North Charleston woman is in jail after police say she stabbed her husband with a ceramic squirrel.
According to the police report, Helen Ann Williams attacked her husband on Christmas Day after he failed to bring beer back to the house.
Police said they were dispatched to the home and found the victim with a large amount of blood on his face.
When police asked Williams what happened to her husband, she first said that he fell and cut himself, but then told officers more.
Williams said her common-law spouse went to a store to find beer, but they store was closed. When he returned home and began making a sandwich, Williams allegedly took a ceramic squirrel and stabbed him in his shoulder and chest.
(Excerpt) Read more at wbtw.com ...
In a related story, Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-Cal) has proposed a nationwide ban on ceramic squirrels, receiving wide support from such groups as PETA, NAMBLA, and Idiot Al Franken (D-Wherever). Cindy Sheehan has formed a home for abused ceramic wildlife, and is accepting the largest donations you can send.
Now that’s something you don’t see every day.
Er, this sounds like an excess of beer, not a lack.
Normally this type of violence is reserved for McDonalds and chicken nuggets related issues.
Outside of that and Chucky Cheese, this is deplorable behavior.
But perfectly expected and accepted behavior INSIDE Chuck E Cheese.
It is time to ban high capacity ceramic squirrels.
Somewhere there is a joke there about squirrels and nuts...
Next thing you know some body gonna say, “hold my beer and watch this”.
So they were out of beer. What I can’t understand is why they didn’t go into their well stocked wine cellar (which I am certain these folks have) and get a nice expensive French variety from the 1950’s.
They could have enjoyed that with a nice American Brie cheese.
A perfect example of the continuing relevance of Rule#17 of Mrs. Don’s Spousal Charter of Domestic Peace: always keep extra beer in the basement.
I’m pretty sure the squirrel is to blame.
Rogue rodent!
Not nearly as pretty as the head on MY beer!
>> What I can’t understand is why they didn’t go into their well stocked wine cellar
Hey, knock it off with the sarcastic “class warfare” already.
Besides, there’s no place to PUT a wine cellar in a singlewide trailer. :-)
I’m picturing the police evidence locker; lined up with the sawed off shotguns, knives, crow bars and the like... a ceramic squirrel.
GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!
Isn't the "wine cellar" in a trailer where Old Blue sleeps?
She probably also ran out of her stock of white lightning.
What about a mason jar of ‘shine?
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