Good Morning! Looks like I got in early this time. Woo-hoo!
It took me a minute to find them in the Boston Tea Party picture.
IBTP
As a faithful reader of the OFST, thanks for the weekly laughs. Since I start my vacation today, I have the opportunity to be in the top 5 and boy does it feel good! Merry Christmas everyone!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FREEPERS!
Thoughts
As I approach my twilight years, I’m struck by the inevitability that, sooner or later, the party must end.
And one clear, cold morning after I’m gone, my spouse will awaken in the warmth of our bedroom and be struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there just isn’t “any more.” No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or say, “I love you.”
So while we have it, it’s best that we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage. And so, too, for old cars, children with bad report cards, dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.
Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a son-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
We keep them because they are worth it, and because we are worth it. Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close.
Suppose one morning you never wake up.... Do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don’t love you back.
So, just in case I’m gone tomorrow, please rest assured that I voted against that incompetent, lying Muslim and reggae-loving, perverted, disingenuous phony, bleeding heart, narcissistic, scientific and economic moron, socialist, and piece of shit Obama.
Phil Robertson was right after all....
Love the “Can you spot Obama taking a selfie?” portion. I had to LOL at some of the pics..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir:
I’m in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? For Christ’s sake, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?
My birth date you have in my social security file. It’s on EVERY income tax form I’ve filed for the past 35+ years. It’s on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver’s license, it’s on the last eight damned passports I’ve had, it’s on every stupid customs declaration form I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30+ years. And it’s on all those census forms that we have to do at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert, and I’m reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.
Between you and me, I’ve had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my #*&#%*& address. What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And “No,” I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another #*@&#^*% copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $100. Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? No-o-ooo, that would require planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the @&^*^%@% government. You’d rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off.
Then I have to find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where I’m not allowed to smile. Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!
Signed- An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years, and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor, WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
And you assholes want to run our health care system??
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!!!!
2013 version of “Where’s Waldo!”
Merry Christmas to you too!
http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/
Wrong Test Answers that are Genius........
