“My dad died yesterday. I don’t feel sad, because he had a good long life and everybody loved him. Is that normal (the not being sad part)?”
There is “normal” behavior, and there is “healthy” behavior. The two are not the same. Running a few miles a day and exercising regularly is healthy; most people don’t do it. Eating McDonald’s is not the healthiest behavior, but most people do it.
I think, if the passing of a loved one is expected, and there is time to prepare for it, and if there is gratitude for the blessings and wholeness of the deceased’s life, then I think there is not much room for sadness, and that is a healthy, albeit, not necessarily normal behavior.
If on the other hand, one is actively repressing the grief and sadness, I would contend that’s not the healthiest of behaviors, and if that’s the case, you ought to share your grief.
Only you can know which of the above applies...
I am not really sad about my dads death yesterday, I am more like “damn, that sucks, I am going to miss not having dad to talk to”.
I am also kind of happy, because he had a lot of bad habits and lived well into his nineties, full mobility, no senility, which seems that this would reflect favorably upon my future prospects. I was rooting for his continued survival.
I don’t know if that is twisted or not.
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.
Leonardo da Vinci
Thanks for giving me a sounding board on this as I have nobody else to talk to.