You weren't supposed to take the title literally...
Well, sure, I was having a little fun there... sort of....
Fact is, I was describing my own situation. I'm totally screwed. I've been active on the internet since the 80's, VAX mail at Cornell, CompuServe, bought my first domains and built my first websites in 1996 using Emacs and Mosaic. I still have the same personal email address today that I set up then (independent of ISP), and it's freakin' EVERYWHERE, every spammer's list on the planet, every search engine. I get around 400 spams a day, and thank God for the Barracuda, I only see a handful.
I've got accounts in places most people don't even know exist, accounts I've long since forgotten. Digging back through 15-year old email from vendors is always an adventure ("Hey lookit that! I remember that!").
What's scary is when the old password still works. Back from the days where passwords were stored unencrypted because the internet was a much more innocent place.
I am SO screwed.
*SIGH*