You can retire to the Midwest where...
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”
OMG, that is SO ‘Sconnie! I love my life! :)
Absolutely. I’ve been at meetings where people pleaded with the DNR to add lanes to a road because of “heavy” traffic. “Heavy” traffic is having to wait 3 minutes to make a turn during the 10 minute rush hour in the AM, or the 10 minute rush hour in the PM.
#2 about NY is on the mark too and should be included in the CA summary, as well. I have so many friends and relatives from the West Coast who still can’t get it through their heads that I live near Milwaukee in Wisconsin, not Minneapolis in Minnesota. And I’ve lived here nearly 30 years. And some of them hae been here to visit!
6. You end most sentences with "eh"?.....Instead of saying "what", you say "eh", the word magically means lots of things.
7. You actually believe you don't have an accent when you speak.......
8. The favorite church hymn is #372, "In Heaven There is No Beer".
9. Badgers and Wolverines fight with each other for sport.
10. Lutherans are the strongest gang and have the best colors........
The only things they could have added was that you know when to bring a hot dish and you know pasties don't belong on strippers.