Posted on 07/16/2013 4:26:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Yesterday I got the worst possible news: My cat, my little girl Cathy might be dying. It started with a note from Kim, who is foster-sitting her, that Cathy was dropped off at the vet for excessive drinking. After some tests, diabetes and cancer and the like were ruled out, but she has a very serious condition called hepatic lipidosis. It was caused pretty much because she stopped eating because she missed her daddy. It's likely to be Separation Anxiety. When she stopped eating, the liver got very fatty and the liver enzymes and other readings skyrocketed. Right now some of the readings are 15 times normal. The prognosis, originally given as 'not good' (sent me into huge tears, again) was revised to the more accurate prognosis of 'uncertain'.
I scrambled to get to her at the vet and fed her her favorite, shaved turkey. She ate a little but gagged, but that is normal because she feels so nauseous. She was happy as hell to see me and purred (according to the vet) for the first time since she's been there. She's eaten twice, and while that's a good sign, there is no guarentee she pulls through. My eyes are clouding up as I type this. This is my little baby girl who I got as a tiny pre-weaned kitten. She really loves me and I wanted her to be with me for many more years. She's a mean kitty to everyone except me. She LOVES her Daddy!
I tried to pet her but she's feeling so sick she pushed my hand away with her little paw. She is glad to see me though.
I pray she doesn't die. Dear God, heal my little girl so we can have many more years together. I love my little girl.
I was angry at the pet foster people that they didn't pick up on this sooner, especially since they work with so many cats, but I know they didn't do this on purpose, and I know they have so many cats that it might escape notice. I won't put this on them. It just happened. If little Cathy pulls through, they've agreed to do things differently, having Shane spend time with her and we feed her shaved turkey from time to time. We just need little girl to pull through.
Today I go there and spend a few hours with her. Hopefully that gives her the will to pull through.
I almost wanted to blame myself – if I hadn't gotten loaded (something I did after the stresses of losing the 2012 election, and believing my country died), she wouldn't have been separated and experienced the stress of missing Daddy and stopping her eating. More to the point, if I hadn't gone into recovery housing, she wouldn't have been separated. But that's convoluted thinking. It's not real. One way or the other, continued using would have killed her.
I know two things from this: I can love deeply, and someone or something can love me deeply – so much so that missing me is killing them.
CATHY, PLEASE PULL THROUGH, HONEY!!!! GOD, PLEASE HEAL HER LITTLE LIVER AND GALL BLADDER!!! PLEASE!!!!
Outcome above
Thanks for the word, Laz. I left you a message on FB. Cathy has been better for you than you thought possible.
My dear friend, you know that you did the right thing for Cathy, and that she is with the other fur angels in the care of St. Francis.
I just got a “message” from my Rocket, a tuft of his fur stuck to the clean pair of pants I put on after my shower today. I noticed
it as I finished the first sentence (above), and take it as good news about Cathy. You will see her again, as I will see my Rocket.
Condolences friend. The surest way to know it’s time is when you can honestly say, my beloved pet will not have a better day than today. That doesn’t make it easier, but it does give a measure of peace with the decision.
They trust us to do the right thing.
Oh, Laz, I’m so sorry. I so believed she would recover. When a little time has passed, I’m going to privately email you. In the meantime, please understand that friends are praying for you and hoping that you will recover from this grief and numbness (perfectly understandable). She is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. A cliché perhaps, but singularly comforting.
Again, I will pm you with a couple of suggestions. I’ve lost many, many beloved pets over the years.
Not long after our beloved Teddy died ( pack of dogs) I had a half awake/ half asleep sensation of him while my head was on my pillow. I could feel his warmth, and softness, and could even smell his fur. It was such a vivid experience and so calming. I took it as a sign that he was OK, and I really needed that.
Little Cathy will always be with you, Laz. You gave her more love than most cats get, and she knew it. I hope that knowledge comforts you.
I lost my wonderful dog Oliver this past February, and it hurt terribly, awfully, even though I knew with absolute certainty that there was nothing more we could do for him.
The end was much the same as you describe. I knew it was coming, and I said goodbye and hugged him.
I hadn't cried for 17 years - since my father died. Tough bastard, I am. But I did cry. Tears in my eyes right now thinking about it - and thinking of your loss, too.
It gets better. That's all I can tell you. That, and you will smile again when you think of her, and sooner than you imagine.
Take care.
I only heard about this recently, but when the kittehs line up for dinner on the other side, they are allowed to feast sitting on the counter. They don’t make ‘em eat on the floor.
Just sayin’.
How sweet! Yes, my Rocket would love that. Thank you.
I’m not a Vet. But I do have lots of experience nursing sick cats back to eating although it’s been about 10 years. This is going to sound strange but reason it out. If cats can’t smell their food they won’t eat or other various reasons. There is one way I know of to make a cat eat until it’s appitite and strength returns. Get some peanut butter and smear on the cats face. I’m serious. Cat are obsessive compulsive self groomers. How will the cat clean off the peanut butter? By licking it. It might work I’ve used it plenty of times before.
Yikes, sorry Laz I should have read through the thread first.
You remind me that I can still feel my Rocket sleeping on my hip as he did when he was still corporeal.
I sleep on my side, and he used to climb up on my (rather substantial) hip to sleep with me.
It is very comforting to feel him there each night. He is a good boy.
Laz still has another cat, and that one seems off-key enough to like the peanut-butter-on-face thing....The advice will be taken.
The cat won't be happy about it but that's not the idea. LOL. We had to give up cats when I came up positive on an allergy skin prick. At one point we had about 15 but we live in the sticks.
We’re suburban, and have five indoor varmints. They drive me to tears sometimes, just being good. Especially that one, LOL....
You should have a lot of pride that you are allowing yourself to feel these (horrible) emotions. It's a testimony to your health and recovery.
I am sorry for your loss. ):
Cathy was blessed to have you, Laz. I’m sorry you are going through this sad experience with her. And thank you for pinging me to read your wonderful tribute to her. Prayers are being sent your way.
Dear Laz,
I’m so sorry! Perhaps my words seem ordinary right now, but I mean them so fully. Hang in there, FRiend. There are other little ones lost in the world who need a good daddy like you. I believe Cathy is proud you loved her so well. God bless and comfort you.
Beautiful, comforting posts about old Rocket. :-)
Prayers going up! You have brought much laughter into our lives.
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