What if everyone changed their name to John Smith or Jane Smith?

7/11/13 | self

[NowApproachingMidnight]

I just had a thought. What if we had a National Name Change day, and all men changed their name to John Smith, and all women changed their name to Jane Smith?

That would really mess up some gov databases, wouldn't it?

[expat2]

Probably less than you think. Your SSN is your label as far as the govt. is concerned.

[Gay State Conservative]

I don't know about fouling up databases but I know it would make a project of mine more difficult.I'm in the process of “investigating” the chairman of our condo association and have come up with a lot of really juicy stuff thanks to the fact that he has a rather unusual...*very* unusual,in fact....name.

[Mark]

In the near future: “Due to those nasty Freepers, everyone must have a microchip implanted to enhance our database.”

Sincerely,
Your White-Black President

[Cicero]

At least you would have no trouble remembering what everybody’s name was.

[ThomasThomas]

You think low info voter know how to spell Jan and Jon

[who_would_fardels_bear]

Also, don’t forget, they injected a unique genetic code into you when you got your small pox vaccine.

[Proud2BeRight]

“There are teams that are fair-haired, and those that aren’t so fair-haired. Some teams are named Smith, some Grabowski. We’re Grabowskis.” - Da Coach

[bigheadfred]

THOSE BASTARDS!

[max americana]

[traditional1]

Juwami Smith? I don’t THINK so....

[bigheadfred]

this would last about 2.3 seconds in the black community

[workerbee]

I dunno — we already get junk mail for my husband’s ex-wife’s ex-husband, though we’ve all lived in 3 different states in the past 10 years.

(yeah, I’ll give you time to work that one out).

[SamAdams76]

It would have zero effect on government databases.

Now if everybody was to change their social security number to 123-45-6789 and their birthdate to 2/29/1973, that would definitely cause a few issues.

[knarf]

We could ALL go to Washington

[PistolPaknMama]

Oh no. They have our face scans, iris scans, fingerprints, DNA, voice patterns. We would become John Smith 101324 and Jane Smith 1933NA, etc. and so on.

[Ingtar]

Jose Ramos or Maria Ramos?

[RightGeek]

Better would be Juan Garcia so you could grab some of that fine government loot for the Hispanic surnamed.

[Standing Wolf]

Better would be Juan Garcia so you could grab some of that fine government loot for the Hispanic surnamed.

Well, except for the occasional Department of "Justice" show trial.

[sten]

your name s not your national I’d

your DNA is

that’s why they’re starting the push for a national HIV test... DNA collection