Posted on 06/20/2013 12:01:02 PM PDT by Resettozero
Recently I was asked about a very difficult situation.
A woman has been married to a man with a long-term addiction to pornography. The last few years he’s been trying to stop, but by his own efforts alone. When she asks him if he’s struggling he will deny it. She finds out he’s using again and then has the double-hurt of his use and his lying.
At one point, with her husband’s permission, she talked with their pastor (who is also her husband’s brother) about this situation. He told her that her husband had to seek help (true) and that there was nothing he could do (not necessarily true). He then said a prayer. If her hope was for anything more than that, she was disappointed.
She concluded this part of her story (there is another piece of the story we’ll take up in subsequent post) by saying “this problem has gone on for so long I don’t talk to my husband about it anymore.”
(Excerpt) Read more at covenanteyes.com ...
You guys have not noticed my posts on this thread. If the guy were not masturbating, with or without porn, he would be engaging in intercourse. Masturbation is the plague. Porn is the vehicle.
The same arguments can be used with polygamy vs. monogamy.
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huh?
It’s not a one-way thing... that’s the problem. If he asks and gets told no, that’s bs. But the wife would certainly never tell us so.
That's the logic flaw, right there.
What are you trying to justify?
There’s no justification for assuming the lack of masturbation would necessarily lead to the dude engaging in intercourse
“We all hear about the men, but we don’t see the other end of things.”
I don’t know, I hear about both. A guy could be using porn (still a sin) because his wife is a cold meanie. Or, she could be perfectly willing and able and he just has issues.
Women need to be careful here. Make the crime fit the punishment. If you are going to categorize manual satisfaction, something every guy has been doing since he was 14 years old, to actually having an a affair, then why not just have a real affair? The same punishment.
Compare the number of articles addressing the former with the latter.
I’ve never seen a case where “excessive masturbation” was grounds for a divorcee.
Au contraire, MILF sights are very popular. I hear tell of GILF sights...
But the reverse is the issue. The complaint is that mastuirbation replaces intercourse. This is the central issue.
Something no one has discussed...It could be that when they married, the woman was thin and pretty. After a couple kids and the passage of time, she may now weigh 305 and be utterly unattractive. It's not an excuse, but the man may turn to porn in order to satisfy himself because he has no wish to sexually engage a morbidly obese woman.
Just a possibility.
I just wanted to tell you that you’re bringing up important questions on this thread, and it’s really annoying me the flippant responses you’re getting.
What if she likes it too, and it is a part of the couple's sexual play?
Then why would she be going to his brother to complain about his porn use? In this example, yes, it’s the case.
“he has no wish to sexually engage a morbidly obese woman.”
Yes, but some guys love it.
Anyway, he is, no doubt, aging, in all the (presumably) unattractive ways men age, as well.
I’m not talking about this case; talking about real-life scenarious I have seen play out.
Are you asking for my personal opinion, what the Church teaches, or what I believe this couple should do?
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