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Marriage Damaged by Porn: A Pastor’s Reflections
Breaking Free ^ | Post Information Wednesday, June 19th, 2013 | Dr. T. C. Ryan

Posted on 06/20/2013 12:01:02 PM PDT by Resettozero

Recently I was asked about a very difficult situation.

A woman has been married to a man with a long-term addiction to pornography. The last few years he’s been trying to stop, but by his own efforts alone. When she asks him if he’s struggling he will deny it. She finds out he’s using again and then has the double-hurt of his use and his lying.

At one point, with her husband’s permission, she talked with their pastor (who is also her husband’s brother) about this situation. He told her that her husband had to seek help (true) and that there was nothing he could do (not necessarily true). He then said a prayer. If her hope was for anything more than that, she was disappointed.

She concluded this part of her story (there is another piece of the story we’ll take up in subsequent post) by saying “this problem has gone on for so long I don’t talk to my husband about it anymore.”

(Excerpt) Read more at covenanteyes.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Health/Medicine; Religion
KEYWORDS: marriage; moralabsolutes; porn; pornography
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To: 2nd amendment mama

You noticed that, too, eh?


181 posted on 06/28/2013 7:26:40 AM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: 2nd amendment mama; wardaddy; Albion Wilde
Maybe it's time again to drag this out. It's been a while since it's been needed.


182 posted on 06/28/2013 7:33:37 AM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: metmom
If you keep a race horse couped up in a barn 29 days a month, then on 30th day let him out on the track and let him run he will last about 45 seconds then fall over huffing and puffing.

Well you could think of masturbation and porn as a sexual gymnasium.

183 posted on 06/28/2013 7:44:52 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: central_va

It’s the men that run that culture.

Who’s to blame there?

Not the women who get killed in honor killings or who get stoned for the crime of being raped.

I’d say *Nice try* but it’s not. It’s disgusting that you blame women for men’s bad actions and decisions.

It’s the same ole, same ole.

Adam to God: “It’s this woman you gave me. It’s her fault. She made me do it.”

Nothing has changed in thousands of years.


184 posted on 06/28/2013 7:53:32 AM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: metmom
It’s the men that run that culture.

LOL, If men ran the culture like you say there would be one faggot out of the closet right now. Every white male in every movie, commercial and tv show is a bad ,stupid person unless he is gay. LMN and lifetime channels are devoted to showiunf stories about f-ed up men. LMN=Loser Men Network

185 posted on 06/28/2013 7:59:42 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: metmom

Anyway you didn’t address male performance issues due to lack of “exercise”. It is a real issue so don’t poo poo it.


186 posted on 06/28/2013 8:01:35 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: metmom

Yeah....me thinks he doth protest too loudly!!!


187 posted on 06/28/2013 9:12:24 AM PDT by 2nd amendment mama ( www.2asisters.org | Self defense is a basic human right!)
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To: 2nd amendment mama

I’m single so I’m not quite sure how it ‘hits too close to home for me’. :)

Two, I’ve gotten *quite* a few PMs thanking me, so obviously I’m saying something that needs to be said.

Do I think that this wife here is not having sex with her husband? I don’t know. The article does not say. Do I think it’s a distinct possibility? Absolutely.

Everyone here excoriates the husband but there are other possibilities that need to be considered. The husband is responsible for his actions. Whether the wife is contributing or not, is something we can’t tell from the information provided.

Reread what I actually posted and see if I ‘assign all the blame to the wife’. I do not. What seems to get people’s goat is that I point out that there’s two people involved here and that maybe, just maybe the wife is contributing to the problem too.


188 posted on 06/28/2013 9:24:58 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge ("we are pilgrims in an unholy land")
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To: central_va

She also never answered the question, “do you believe a wife has a duty to her husband to have sex on a regular basis.”

crickets.


189 posted on 06/28/2013 9:26:17 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge ("we are pilgrims in an unholy land")
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To: JCBreckenridge

Because it is all the man’s fault. Don’t you see....


190 posted on 06/28/2013 9:27:18 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: central_va

Perhaps my argument hits too close to home for her. ;)


191 posted on 06/28/2013 9:42:50 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge ("we are pilgrims in an unholy land")
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To: JCBreckenridge
Unfortunately if these porno crusaders keep this up men will switch to the real thing or start dumping serious money at titty bars.

In the perfect female world there is no porno, no prostitution and wives a 100 lock sole source provider of the 'tang. They want complete domination of the male animal.

192 posted on 06/28/2013 9:46:44 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: central_va; metmom
Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it’s worth it.

Plus, you can lose 185 pounds without dieting!

193 posted on 06/28/2013 10:11:38 AM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Remember... the first revolutionary was Satan."--Russian Orthodox Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov)
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To: central_va; metmom
I would say that looking at burka women is about the most depressing anti_sexual thing I can think if. Seems to work perfectly.

Since muslim birth rates are higher than those of Westerners, how do you figure that?

194 posted on 06/28/2013 10:25:24 AM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Remember... the first revolutionary was Satan."--Russian Orthodox Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov)
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To: JCBreckenridge; metmom; 2nd amendment mama; wardaddy
What seems to get people’s goat is that I point out that there’s two people involved here and that maybe, just maybe the wife is contributing to the problem too.

The reason our goats are gotten is that this statement is just plain wrong. It's the rape defense -- "She was wearing sexy clothes, Your honor! I couldn't help myself!"

It wouldn't matter if the wife wore a chastity belt. That is a separate issue.

He is one soul who will answer to God for his own choices, not hers. And if he is addicted to porn, he has a problem of sin that needs to be solved. How he solves it with regard to his wife is secondary to his understanding that dependence on porn is ruining his own mind and heart.

195 posted on 06/28/2013 10:38:15 AM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Remember... the first revolutionary was Satan."--Russian Orthodox Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov)
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To: Albion Wilde
He is one soul who will answer to God for his own choices

We all will, in due time.

196 posted on 06/28/2013 10:47:32 AM PDT by tacticalogic ("Oh, bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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To: Albion Wilde

“this statement is just plain wrong”

I ask again. Do you believe a wife has a duty to have sex with her husband on a regular basis?


197 posted on 06/28/2013 11:07:39 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge ("we are pilgrims in an unholy land")
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To: metmom

Am I a priest? No.

I ask again. Do you believe that a wife has a duty to have sex with her husband on a regular basis?


198 posted on 06/28/2013 11:11:06 AM PDT by JCBreckenridge ("we are pilgrims in an unholy land")
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To: Resettozero

Well said. I hope that you are right.


199 posted on 06/28/2013 11:15:45 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: wita

“a delete function”...I thank Him every day for that.


200 posted on 06/28/2013 11:15:58 AM PDT by mikemoose (Pray for the Unborn)
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