Posted on 06/20/2013 12:01:02 PM PDT by Resettozero
Recently I was asked about a very difficult situation.
A woman has been married to a man with a long-term addiction to pornography. The last few years he’s been trying to stop, but by his own efforts alone. When she asks him if he’s struggling he will deny it. She finds out he’s using again and then has the double-hurt of his use and his lying.
At one point, with her husband’s permission, she talked with their pastor (who is also her husband’s brother) about this situation. He told her that her husband had to seek help (true) and that there was nothing he could do (not necessarily true). He then said a prayer. If her hope was for anything more than that, she was disappointed.
She concluded this part of her story (there is another piece of the story we’ll take up in subsequent post) by saying “this problem has gone on for so long I don’t talk to my husband about it anymore.”
(Excerpt) Read more at covenanteyes.com ...
Are you saying that truth must be experienced in order to be understood?
Use guys are against porn? How special! Are you against murder too? Yes, bad things are wrong!
Oh just stop. You’ve embarassed yourself enough with your deep philosophies.
well then, since you are right and I am wrong, exactly what’s incorrect from what I’ve said?
I see everyone has met goofball
Sorry I missed it
Lol....virgin expert on sex and marriage
Good lord
Some folks should stick with what they know about
Lincoln logs...tinker toys
BTW....he blames anyone over 40 for all our problems
Come to think of it....he likely is an expert on porn
Applause to all of you
I’m kinda ambivalent about porn....even the definition is ambiguous.....for some its SI swimsuit issue or Miss Universe
For others its gang bangs and dungeons or worse
I’m probably in the middle
I’m gonna just give some thoughts off the arm here on my droid
1) porn has been with us forever and will stay but the medium is very advanced....and the supply and access
2) porn is a sin
3) I like to see naked women and have enjoyed some porn
4) I would not want my daughter to do it
5) I wouldn’t either...too many other erections in close vicinity....
6) plenty women like porn.....does Magic Mike count?
7) women who like porn like the rough Siffredi stuff....no fooling.....not the guaze lens Lacey stuff with silly plotlines but rather getting right to it.....but some women detest porn
8) porn is degrading to women....any public sex is degrading to women by the very compromise and invasiveness of it....women are somewhat objectified even in love sex....its just how we are
9) women who do porn have likely been abused as kids and equate sex with male approval.... or they are lesbican.... and don’t care
10) porn is whoring.....either side
11) porn is like queerdom....I wish it were quieter and kept more private
12) porn girls are much much more attractive than back in the early 70s when we would rifle through some guys dads shoebox for black and whites or 8mm film.
13) porn can be destructive and addictive and give way way false expectations to young men how women should act and conversy it can instruct behavior a bit too trampy for most gals...
Agree/disagree?
Agreed and it's a two way street.
Any man who's getting satisfaction from porn is not fulfilling his responsibility to his wife.
He's defrauding her.
The article doesn't say, but did it ever occur to you that that is happening in that relationship. Maybe SHE's theone wanting sex and not getting it from her husband who is getting his kicks out of other women.
Some women do like sex, you know. I know men seem to think that's a novel concept.
The portrayal of a woman whose husband uses porn as not filling his needs does a great disservice to women and DOES objectify them.
What does it do to the wife whose husband rejects her?
He's already telling her that she's not good enough. He's already rejecting her sexually. He's rejecting her emotionally, He's not giving her the simple friendship kind of companionship she needs and wants from him by virtue of the fact that he's spending time with other women in his porn addiction.
That kind of rejection in a marriage is devastating to a woman because (this may come as a surprise to you), women are not stupid. They know what sex means to a man and they also know that a man is supposed to want to have sex with his wife, the woman he claims to love.
He is living a lifestyle of rejection of her as a woman and that can destroy her emotionally.
Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it’s worth it.
I blame the man exclusively.
He is not a victim here. That victim mentality make s me want to puke.
He is CHOOSING to use porn. It's his CHOICE to engage in it, just like any sin is a choice.
Just like lying is a choice and stealing is a choice.
Nobody is holding a gun to the guy's head and forcing him to watch porn.
Granted he has issues that need to be addressed, nevertheless, he has made the decision to go that route and can blame no one but himself and a real man wouldn't. There is such a thing as taking responsibility for one's actions and until he does, he will never be free. And based on the information provided in the article, he doesn't want to man up and do so.
So his wife is left to suffer and flounder and look outside her marriage for support and validation.
What a man.
Look, if women want to elevate the misdemeanor of porn to the level of having a real affair then I guess men will have the real affair if the resulting “punishment” is the same.
So men being forced into celibacy is ok?
ping to post 147
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Buddy, you don't understand marriage at ALL!!!!
And you have no *inisights*
You've especially demonstrated that in your absolute ignorance of it with your thinking that the woman is not fulfilling her husbands needs and she needs to do her *wifely duties* to keep him happy and away from porn.
You're not married and decide to advise on marriage like some kind of expert?
Are you a priest?
LOL!!! You called it on that one, methinks.....
Some people don’t get it.
Hey, Jesus Himself said that a man looking on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I didn’t think that one up.
The only difference between the thought and acting on it is the level of self-control of the individual.
I never heard whether there are any statistics on it, but I would not be surprised to find that men who use porn have a higher incidence of affairs. They’ve already demonstrated a willingness to cheat on their wives mentally.
Who's being forced into celibacy? Where is that stated?
And how do you know that it's not the woman who's being forced into celibacy by a porn addicted husband?
Can you do some research instead of throwing platitudes around? Can you find out if a woman has successfully divorced a man on grounds of excessive use of pornographic materials? And I don’t mean pedophilia/gay porn I mean straight man looking at woman(adult) porno.
Every man, even you own father, has “taken things into his own” hands. Every man. Every. Single. Last. one of them.
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