Its poverty.
Personally, one the most unattractive things to see at a wedding is a morbidly obese bridesmaid (or bride) in a backless dress, said back being adorned with tattoos.
Most people manage to find a suit and tie when they are on trial.
Mark Steyn, in a recent book, theorized that if you went back to 1950 America and took an average adult male, put him in a time macine and transported him to the present day, his first question would be, “Why are all the adult men dressing like 12 year old boys?”
I wear a suit and tie to weddings and funerals.
I can't think of anything more revolting than an overweight, 40 year old, man with dungaree cutoffs and a back facing baseball cap (still on) sitting with his family at breakfast, more often than not, also talking on his cell phone.
Slobs should be required to have a permit to be in public.
Only weddings I’ve worn a tie to I was in (groom or best man). I don’t like putting a noose around my neck. Now I do wear a nice button up shirt, and I never wear jeans because I never found them comfortable, I gravitate to black khakis. As a society we’ve figured out that dressing up is generally wearing uncomfortable clothes for no good reason, so we stopped. I don’t see it as a decline, just a change.
I feel your pain, and I dress, for the most part in a manner that you would probably consider appropriate to a given occasion.
However, some norms really are culturally derived and it is not so much a question of morality. Historically, distinctions in dress tend to reflect, not morality, but class differences. So you might argue that what we are seeing is a reflection of the leveling of class that is taking place in our culture, for good or ill.
But to say that it is declining morality, that really is a bit of a reach.
My grandfather wore a 3 piece suit every day. He would not leave the house without a hat. I never saw him in his “shirt sleeves”.
You are right. Its just one symptom of many of our decline as a society.
I reject the poverty notion. My Dad grew up a younger sister, raised by a widowed, single mother in the 1930’s. Moved home usually every 6 months. A really good Christmas gift was an apple. The stories of “poverty” were striking to me, and completely incomprehensible to my children today.
Nonetheless, he went to school wearing a coat and tie, every day. The public school insisted on it, his mother insisted on it.
I am a contract software engineer. I wear a white shirt, tie and sport coat every day. When asked why by my clients my reply is “I am a professional. You pay me a lot of money to be here and this is how I make my living. So I will dress in a professional manner.”
It makes my eyes roll when peers show up for work in shorts, sandals and t-shirts.
And quite often my level of dress becomes contagious and the other men I work with will start dressing much more appropriately.
Funny thing, the women almost always dress professionally.
You are offended. Check.
What you’ve not done successfully is to cast this as a moral issue. Bad taste does not equal lack of morality.
I’m with Thoreau on this: Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes (actually was my high school yearbook quote in 1976). Still feel that way today.
You just put on your coat and hatIn 1958, one dressed well in public even when performing routine chores. When we went shopping at the May Company department store in downtown LA during those days, we would always wear coats and ties.
And walk yourself to the laundromat
Only a few other families there dressed respectfully. I'm not talking about the cost of the clothing, only about neatness, cleanliness, appropriate and modest choices, adherence to tradition and decency. There were women with their boobs hanging out, with skirts slit up to the hip, people in raggedy jeans and flipflops, people who were just dirty, people who clearly considered this an occasion to work on their tans, guys wearing tank tops with hairy back sticking out and big hairy gut hanging out under their shirts. There was zero sense that they were seeing something magnificent, important, glorious. There was no impression that they should dress in their Sunday best to do honor and show gratitude to their new Marines.
Call me an old prude, but I was disgusted at the general lack of reverence. It was hard not to feel bad for the young Marines who were so splendidly turned out, so perfectly-disciplined and rehearsed, had worked so terribly hard and achieved so much, and now were preparing to give everything to their nation. A sense of gratitude, at the least, might impel a decent person to honor their effort with a demeanor of respect.
This has nothing to do with money and everything to do with attitude. You can dress nicely no matter how broke you are. You just do your best, make sure your clothes are clean and neat, and don't sit in the stands with your shirt pulled up to your armpits so that your fat hairy gut gets more tanned. Believe me, I have nothing to spend on good clothes, and every item I wore, including the lovely Brooks Brothers suit, came straight from Goodwill ($14.95 + old person's discount + Tuesday discount).
And the same goes for church. Don't go there with half your ass cheek hanging out below your super-short shorts. God is not going to believe you're there to worship Him if you're shakin' it at the boys.
I remember when I saw James Cameron’s Titanic movie, (whether or not it’s a good movie is another matter, but it contained about two hours of people in beautiful Edwardian clothing,) and I came out of the theater and it was like I’d gone back in time and then returned. I looked at all the people in the theater parking lot, in their sweats, flip-flops, ripped jeans, flabby stomachs hanging out, etc., etc., and suddenly they all looked so ugly and sloppy to me.
I'm not too impressed with "conservative" men who won't take off their hats indoors, even when sitting down to eat, but maybe that's just me being an old fogey.