Advice about depression, please

myself | May 29 2013 | myself

[proud American in Canada]

Hi Freepers,

I have a question for you. It is late, so if anyone answers me, I’ll probably have to answer most posts tomorrow. I have this weird dichotomy going on. I go to church and pray a lot—but there is a part of me that just wants to die, although I don’t really want to. I was just listening to the Stone Temple Pilots—“I Got You”—about heroin. For a few moments I thought about how I might procure some, because tomorrow I have to go to the American Embassy in Ottawa to fix my papers so I can go see my family in Chicago; the embassy is near the Byward Market, where there are many drug dealers. Why is it that a person could be so divided. I feel so sad, and yet, so full of faith. Anyway… take care, Julie

[presently no screen name]

And evil will use that against you. You are in a battle - fight for who you are, you are not depression, you are not drugs. YOU are the FAITHFUL, walk in it - knowing all will be well even though it may not look like it now - everything is subject to change. You are not alone and you know it - that is why you reached out. And that’s awesome!

[proud American in Canada]

I have a doctor’s appointment next Monday—a miracle (seriously) given the Canadian system. :) Usually you have to wait months to see a doctor. I just called last week. :)

[skr]

Another great way to flee is to do something for someone else, just as your prayers will help this young man. Pray for all who are also depressed and seeking the wrong way out. God will reward you for your compassion and your empathy.

[proud American in Canada]

“Keep your eyes on Jesus ALONE. The depression is not of God - dismiss it.”

____________________________________

No, it’s not. My favorite movie is the Passion of the Christ. I will do what He did. :)

Thank you. :)

[MHGinTN]

Obtain a good supply of D3. Take with breakfast 20,000 units each day for three days, then decrease dosage to 10,000 units each morning until you can get plenty of sunshine. To maintain a good blood level take at least 5,000 units per day once you’re back in equilibrium.

[boatbums]

I'll be praying for you, Julie.

I don't know how old you are, and wouldn't dare ask anyway, but if you are near menopause, this depression could be hormonal. There are also other physical reasons for depression so you should make an appointment to see your doctor and have some tests done to make sure your hormone levels are in balance. Thyroid deficiencies are another cause so get your TSH blood work done, as well. There are many medications that can help you feel better, but PLEASE do not even think about illegal drugs like heroin. They will only cause more problems than you will be able to deal with. DO NOT give in to that temptation!

I hope you can get to visit your family in Chicago, sometimes we get lonely for our peeps and it lifts our spirits to be with them again even if for only a short time. Whatever is going on in your personal life - job, marriage/singlehood, friends, etc. it's good to remember that even the most terrible things will pass.

Having the Lord in your life gives you an edge that unbelievers sorely lack. Just rest in God's love for you and trust that he will lead you into what is best for you. Give him your doubts, your questions, your fears and your hopes and he WILL guide you into where he wants you. I have experienced the same emotions as you - I think all of us do at some point - but God has never let me down. He is our comforter, our rock, our fortress and our deliverer and redeemer. He loves us better than anyone else possibly could. Rejoice in your salvation and instead of looking at all the things you don't have that you think will make you happy, look at all the things you DO have and rejoice in the blessings he has given you. Learn to live like the Apostle Paul when he said:

..for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)

[expat1000]

I think it’s not so unusual in older people, which I assume you are, that don’t have responsibilities such as children that rely on them and therefore sometimes find it tough to find reasons to keep on going.

I don’t believe in trying to chase away ‘bad’ thoughts but also we should not wallow in them. They come by themselves, and will leave the same way. If prayer helps that, then great - if not, it doesn’t matter. Just wait them out.

The Creator gave you life. It’s not yours to take. That’ll happen when it is right to happen. It’s pretty simple, really. Either we trust the Creator or we don’t.

[wardaddy]

Heroin or any opiates are a great temporary cure in proper dosage

But they are false and temporary.... hell everybody likes them pretty much

But for chronic depression .....SSRIs even with all the criticism appear to help but they take time to work

I have a family member on lexapro....she likes it

If you’re having desperation anxiety.....xanax or ativan....again temporary but can relieve acute despondency

Best cure.....love.....not just the sex based kind......forced to live outside yourself

Works wonders

I fear you have a clinical situation....I once suffered a rough spot of a kind of post traumatic stress anxiety coupled with caring for a very hard dying father who had been my grounding for 40 years

Klonopin ...ativan.....xanax....offset the rumble of anxiety and quelled my desire to hurt strangers who broke rules nonchalantly that would have been deadly consequence to me once

Hard to explain.....living high stress danger for a long period of time wears you down

I don’t know how those Pacific island battle Marines took it day after day for months on the line like they did

Rare has the fighting man endured as much in any war

God bless you...I am sorry you are in turmoil

[presently no screen name]

the Passion

Jesus did it for YOU.

[TexGrill]

You’ll be alright. It’s funny how time really does heal wounds. I struggle with depression myself, I had it since I was 10-years-old and I also had to endure getting a divorce, losing a few jobs and dealing with even more embarrassing scenarios. Here’s what I do to deal with it, but I can’t promise it will work for you. Although, I’m not a Rev. Jesse Jackson supporter, I live by the motto: “keep hope alive.” I got to church every Sunday and keep reminding myself that if today isn’t good then wait til tomorrow. Hey, when I was younger I used to listen to Stone Temple Pilots too. But they don’t play their music on Beijing radio stations here. Anyway, life will get better. Last November, I get a letter saying I was black-listed from the Chinese State-owned media. Despite being a Republican, the letter still bummed me out, since I wanted to initiate media reforms in Beijing, and I was at that time employed by the Chinese media. So 2 years of hard work went down the drain. But you know what? I found a better job and I’m still in China. But I had to be patient and wait for a better tomorrow. So, “keep hope alive.”

[proud American in Canada]

“BTW: stay the hell away from heroin. Please,for your sake.”

______________________________________________________

I will. I was just being ridiculous and sad. And so many Freepers answered me—I’m trying to respond to everyone, because they took the time to respond to me.

I do have to get up early, so I’m going to log off. But I so much appreciate how much everyone cheered me up. You all are amazing!

J.

[savagesusie]

I find that John Milton words ring true... (mind over matter)........

“The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.

The mind is incredibly powerful.

[douginthearmy]

The first and best advice I have is that you speak to someone in person immediately. Whether a friend, a relative or although scary, the best choice could be a professional or a religious leader. Posting this online is a positive call for help, but you need to follow it up with someone in person.

I only experienced deep depression once when I thought I would never see my son again and I did contemplate death for a split second, but it was only fleeting. So I can't empathize completely. I will not minimize your difficulties or the seriousness of your feelings. However, life is truly amazing and I would encourage you to embrace it.

[rmccullo]

NO DRUGS!!!

Exercise, fresh air, less animal fat, more fiber (gains) and fruit and veggies.

Seriously. That and more sleep/less work stress and you’re good. The Good Word is there to help us along, keep our spirits up and provide spiritual comfort, but we are designed to MOVE, and make use of out earthly vessels.

Oh, and yeah, no smoking tobacco, sorry. No good for the lungs. And cut back on the processed sugar.

Yeah, I might sound like a health nut, but i’m not. Just passing on what worked for me.

P.S.: Beer is good food.

[Anitius Severinus Boethius]

Hi Julie,

First, understand that depression is real. It’s like being cold. No one would attempt to believe that their being cold was nothing to worry about. If they were cold enough to realize it, they would need to fix it or else it would be all they can think about. So if you have become aware of your depression, then it is something you need to address.

Second, depression is temporary. Whether or not you need medication to help or if this is just a transitional time in your life, depression ebbs and flows. No matter how much it seems like you will never feel any better, remember that you are just in a season of this struggle.

Third, don’t add worries to your life right now. You have experienced death and a life changing transition with your job. Don’t go picking at other things you can’t change. Confide in people you love and trust about the feelings you have and how dark the road is for you right now.

As a person of faith, you might be encouraged to read of those people in the Bible who suffered from periods of doubt and depression as well. Elijah and David both struggled with periods where all they wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die. But God saw them through those dark periods, and he can do the same for you.

It’s actually encouraging that you would be brave enough, maybe desperate enough, to post this thread. There are people who can help and want to help you. From the recent blows to your life, I am not surprised that you are depressed. Losing a loved one and a job are devastating.

Find something to splurge in (ice cream, a pizza, etc.), pop in a favorite comedy, read a book that inspires, and sleep. Then the next day, find time to do things like that again. Then the next day, the same. If you feel out of control, seek counseling.

You’ll get through this.

[Casie]

You sound numb, like you are going through the motions of attending church and praying but not feeling any joy or peace from it. Some issue is holding you back. It could be medical or mental or some combination of the two. But the one CLEAR thing that anyone on this board can tell you, is that whatever is preventing you from living a healthy happy life... it will only be a million times harder to figure out if you add drugs to the situation.

What you are going through CAN be made better! You CAN feel happy! It may take a small journey to get you there. Don't add a million hard miles to the trip by depending on drugs.

You are in a weak spot. It can happen to any of us! And its the exactly worse time ever ever ever to be exposed to drugs. AVIOD all of them like the plague right now!

Start with something super simple. Go for a walk. Get some exercise. Get your heart pumping! Talk to a friend. Take a friend with you on that walk. Get your hair done. Or your nails. Find a healthy way to pamper yourself. Help someone else. Sing out loud with the radio! Plant something in a bright colored flowerpot. Cook a fancy meal from scratch. And when your pray remember He loves you and wants you to be happy.

[Marine_Uncle]

Julie, Please take the following as sound advice.
Prayer can be as simple as pleas for one's needs. A please dear Lord, help me through this. HE searches the hearts of our souls. HE knows even before we know what the deal is.
Rest your head in trust in HIM tonight. HE is not capable of abandoning HIS.

My nephew left the active service role as a Marine, after two tours in Iraq. He now is on his second tour in what is considered remote areas in small FOB's in Afghanistan as a civilian, Intel Contractor.
So many fine men and women serve our country in so many ways.
Rest your head upon your pillow soon and just put yourself into HIS Almighty Hands. All will be well in due time.

Keep it simple. Trust in HIM. And with regular praise thank HIM for all HE has done for you thus far in life.
HE will never fail you.

[TChad]

Sounds like you are contemplating deliberately making some dumb mistakes. The problem with dumb mistakes is that you don't learn enough from them.

Better you should try to do something you think is hard but worthwhile. Your mistakes will be more interesting.

[the_Watchman]

As others have pointed out, Stone Temple Pilots is probably not a good place for your head.

I taught my kids that the Bible has a medical prescription for mental health. It is Philippians 4:8-9. This is from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Church at Philippi. I will include a few of verses before since they are, of themselves, uplifting:

Phil 4:4
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

The New King James Version. 1982 (Php 4:4–9). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

May God keep you safe this night. It will be our prayer for you.

[max americana]

Depression? I left Kanada because I was depressed there.