Posted on 04/07/2013 2:25:11 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
In the mid-seventies, Susan A. Patton was among the "200 pioneer women" to join Princeton University's previously all-male student body. As president of her alumni class, she recently attended an Anne-Marie Slaughter–endorsed "Women and Leadership" event that "allowed current undergraduate women to speak informally with older and presumably wiser alumnae." But the "girls" in attendance "glazed over" discussing careerism, she found. So today she wrote an open letter to The Daily Princetonian telling "the daughters I never had" what she wished she'd said:
Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out ... Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. Yes, I went there.
Oh no. She continues,
I am the mother of two sons who are both Princetonians. My older son had the good judgment and great fortune to marry a classmate of his, but he could have married anyone. My younger son is a junior and the universe of women he can marry is limitless. Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.
Well, this will definitely be awkward for any future non-Princeton girlfriends of that younger son.....
(Excerpt) Read more at nymag.com ...
They go Hand-in-Hand
Along with the consequences of it's abandonment
From Kipling - God's of the Copybook Headings
...On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”...
my husband certainly does not appreciate that I challenge his statements. Still hasn’t kicked me to the curb though.
Hello — you went to Annapolis. Even the GOAT of the class is still far above average. What you scored on a one time SAT test wouldn’t be a killer by any means. The fact that you got into Annapolis told her all she needed to know about your smarts, and the fact that you were THERE, rather than screwing around at BumFEgyptState told her you were more mature than the average man your age and had a game plan in mind for a career. All the service academies are about as selective as Ivy league, and sometimes more so. It also told her you had leadership skills. No real woman wants to marry a candyass.
Girls mature physically and mentally at an earlier age than boys. A 9-10 year old girl will often be taller than a boy her age. But girls plateau at an earlier age than boys, and the boys catch up and pass them. This is why I advised my oldest (early 20's) daughter to look at guys up to 30, rather than exclusively those her age.
A lot of guys never mature enough to satisfy some women, but part of that may come from women judging maturity according to a standard of "behaving like women think they should behave".
In college, the game for a long time has been for women to correctly recognize guys with good potential, and snag them before less-discerning women notice them. Women in the 30-35 age range keep whining that "the good men are all taken". Well, yes, that's what happens when you wait.
As an Ivy graduate the pool of options for wives was limitless. Any man worth his salt isn’t intimidated by smart women.
There are two lines of thought on this.
1) The “cupcake” is looking to “marry up” and the relationship from the man’s perspective is much less work for him at the beginning.
2) The intelligent woman is assumed to be looking to “marry up” and being her intellectual peer can be rather competitive and is significantly more effort.
the long term outlook for option #1 is low.
As gem noted, the service academies select for a more well-rounded individual (intelligence plus leadership potential plus aggressiveness) than places that just go by IQ. An Annapolis grad is well within the top fraction of 1% in terms of ability to succeed in life.
——— Women in the 30-35 age range-——
if unmarried, are spinsters but may not know it
Oh so very true. One of the most intellectually curious people I've known and who read all kinds of books on ancient history worked the tool counter at a local contractor supply house. Conversely, some of the most dogmatic and close minded and incurious carry degrees from big name schools.
No no. I should have been more specific. Her brother went to Annapolis and she developed an affinity for military men after visiting him multiple times. I’m an Army officer. I had a 4-year ROTC scholarship at a private military academy. I was already an aviation branch captain when I met my wife. Not an academy grad.
She learned to dislike the military though when I got sent to Iraq for 15 months. We got through it.
Army, navy, being a military officer still pegs you as a man of high ability.
I’m a guy who married “up” at the time. I was finishing college, and my wife was a few years older with an established career. She continues to have an inferiority complex regarding intellectual issues which drives me nuts. She is extremely smart and is brilliant with our finances. 10 years of marriage later my career is only starting to catch-up with hers.
The advantage of dating people in college is you can see them and platonicly hang out with them before dating. You also have access to people who know the guy.
**
This was my situation. I met my husband the last semester in college, and I didn’t know him, but many folks that I knew had grown up with him and knew his background and would always say, “he’s a really good guy.” As time went on this became more and more apparent.
So far he’s a keeper, after 26 years. ;) I’m extremely glad I married him so early — got me one of the good ones ...
Thanks for the compliment.
And to add to the above, many friends would make fun of us for spending so much time together and for marrying so young ...I think a lot of them, to this day, have never married.
So there.
And I do believe we are an intellectual match ..which is the glue that keeps us together, as we can usually figure out any difficult situation, and do it together. Dated plenty of nice looking guys, but most of them were really dumb ... I’ll take a smart, witty guy any day over the hunk with no brain.
Her son is a junior at Princeton so the obvious purpose of this is to get her (nerdy?) son to marry up. She probably blew her sales pitch as she's clearly part of the package deal and calls the shots.
But again, you STILL were a “man with a plan” and obviously a real man and not a little boy still making fart noises with his hand and armpit! At least if you did you had enough sense not to do it in front of ladies! Military academy grads are still a far cut above average.
“Some of the dumbest and most intellectually incurious people I’ve known were in my class at Princeton. And some of the smartest I’ve known went to state schools, or community colleges, or didn’t go to college.”
Flick, I used to tend bar part time at a fancy polo club in Texas. I have to tell you that these wealthy folks were the dumbest, dullest customers I’d ever had, and lousy tippers to boot. I would rather have worked a neighborhood joint any day. The best guys for conversation are very often the curious, well read, blue collar workers, as they are the most original thinkers and don’t have the habit of regurgitating what someone else thinks is correct.
You are correct, and I wish I was taught this type of thinking as a young woman. A lot of women my age were taught about how to get ahead on our own and not a lot about dealing with men. My mother openly ridiculed relatives who “had to have a man” “get to the alter first” or “fawn over their husband.” All this gets you is a chip on your shoulder. I am not married and have surpassed the big 40. I wonder why.
I have exactly two single female friends over the age of 30 (one is in her 60’s and divorced). I’d rather spend time with my happily married friends or those not desperate for a partner than miserable complaining single women.
if unmarried, are spinsters but may not know it"
There are exceptions. I met my now-husband at the age of 31, and married him at 33. He's the soulmate God had in mind for me, and I'm so thankful I didn't make the leap any earlier.
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