Posted on 02/26/2013 11:46:02 AM PST by llevrok
Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge after allegedly battering a teenage relative with a Taco Bell burrito.
Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute at a Port St. Lucie residence.
The victim told cops that he was having a verbal altercation with his mother and Brown, his brother-in-law, when Brown asked his mother to bring him the burrito, according to an arrest affidavit.
Brown then allegedly threw the burrito with force at the victim, striking the boy in the face with the fast food item. While interviewing the teen, cops noted that he had burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face.
Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman. He also acknowledged that he had delivered the burrito. After being booked into the county jail, Brown warned that he would take care of the teen upon his release from custody, adding that the victim was going to get knocked out.
According to online records, Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court.
30 days for contempt of court.
That kid was lucky he wasn’t dealing with my dad. A burrito would have been the least of his worries.
Or my dad! My money says the kid's a punk and he deserved a good swift kick in the ass.
Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves
against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh
fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad.
When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes
after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me! Now,
the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion
fruit...
Burrito Power! Burrito Power! Time for ya’ll to trade in yer Uzis and AK-whatevers and get some real Burrito firepower!!! (Pity the poor cop who had to turn in this pathetic incident report .. Hahaha! Well, u know, everything has to be written up. Your tax money ‘at work’. Ha! )
No one needs an assault burrito. And those high-capacity boxes of tacos are dangerous too.
When burritos are outlawed, only outlaws will have burritos.
WTH? I thought that throttling was strangling or choking, not smacking.
You don’t expect a journalism major to know that do you.
I actually read each and every reply post too see if anyone else knew that.
You win a cookie.
You could if force fed it to the kid with the wrapper still on.
Drop the Chalupa!
23 replies before a Python skit. What took so long? This website ain’t what it used to be...
You're right. You can adequately hunt deer with a quesadilla. What do you need an assault burrito for? Indeed!!
"All you need is some hot sauce. If someone attacks you, and this is what I told my wife, Jill, if someone attacks you put some hot sauce on your fingers and poke them in the eyes. I guarantee you they will run away crying like a Democrat congressman."
most taco bell food normally is an assault on your body. often you can light a cigar from your butthole for a couple days after.
...musta been one of these guys?
Sorry... I couldn't resist.
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