Posted on 01/24/2013 2:46:00 PM PST by BenLurkin
Star Wars: Episode VII: The Hideous Death of Jar Jar Binks
Now that the Disney Jawas have picked through the scraps, they pull out Jar Jar to write the story and some hairy Ewoks to direct....
there will NEVER be an ending, story lines left WIDE open, random thoughts and ideas...
Have none of the decision makers seen LOST?
Abrams’ Star Wars would be the greatest showcase of lens flares in the history of cinema.
The writer wrote the end to Toy Story 3, so have plenty of tissues handy.
From Wikipedia: “On January 14, 2013, Vulture reported that Zack Snyder would be working on a stand-alone Star Wars film; a Jedi/samurai type based on the film Seven Samurai.”
It’s already been done: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F13CTKTkMvc
That hurts my eyes.
Now we can again ask the age old question: Star Trek Enterprise vs. Death Star or Corellean Cruiser?
No point to put BSG in the mix. They got their butts beaten so many times it seemed like a Girl Scout Troop from Monon, Indiana could beat them up.
Pretty soon all SF franchises will go through JJ’s computer. He should do better than the prequel trilogy though.
That’s an interesting idea, and certainly bringing Star Wars back to its Kirosawa roots (New Hope was heavily ripped off from Hidden Fortress, so much so that Lucas provided the commentary on the criterion DVD). Not sure how well Snyder’s epic violence works in Star Wars though.
Jar Jar is the reason Anakin Skywalker turned to the dark side.
Episode 1 was the last Star Wars movie for me.
Full Title
Star Wars: Episode VII: The Hideous Death of Jar Jar Binks and the Annihilation of the Entire Gungan and Ewok Races
Spoiler: Episode VII takes place in purgatory.
In reality it’s probably the most realistic depictions though. War sucks, lots of people die, lots of ships get damaged and destroyed, battles are lost.
It turned me to the dark side. I kept yelling to anyone on screen, "Take your weapon! Strike him down and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!"
Doing better than the prequel trilogy is setting the bar pretty low I think.
All you missed in II & III were convoluted situations that had no cause and effect relation, incredibly wooden acting and a heaping helping of Muppetry.
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