[ArGee]

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Q: How do you make musicians complain?
A: Pay them.

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A: A tattoo.

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "The Defendant"

Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
A: Saliva.

Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
A: A bad oboist can kill you.

Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

[Izzy Dunne]

I came back into rehearsal room, just to find the bass player and the drummer fighting tooth and nail.

I broke it up and asked them what the problem was.

The bass player said: "He reached over and de-tuned one of my strings !"

"So what?" I said. "just tune it back up".

The bass player said "But he won't tell me which one!"

[ArGee]

Playing the banjo is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded: you don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

What do you get when you throw a banjo and an accordion off the Empire State Building?
Who cares?

Banjo players are a lot like sharks: they think they have to keep playing or they will sink.

What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?
You can tune a Harley.

[Izzy Dunne]

We're ready for OFST!