[ArGee]

Playing the banjo is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded: you don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

What do you get when you throw a banjo and an accordion off the Empire State Building?
Who cares?

Banjo players are a lot like sharks: they think they have to keep playing or they will sink.

What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?
You can tune a Harley.

[ArGee]

With my sincerest apologies to Herbert Kretzmer, lyricist for "Les Miserables".

Speaker of the House

Speaker of the House
Isn't worth my spit.
Coward. Rank surrender-er, and lifelong sh**!
Cunning little brain,
Regular voltaire.
Think's he's a dealmaker but there's not much there.

What a cruel trick of nature
Leaving us with such a louse.
God knows how we've lasted living with this b@stard in the house.

[ArGee]