What a great piece of legislation for those states legalizing marijuana!
Have we considered awarding of grants by the Ministry of Silly Walks?
What took so long!
Hilarious!
Americans With No Abilities = Democrats
Limitless possibilities - they’ll need help filling in the applications, sharpening the pencils, restocking the pamphlet rack, etc.
Atlas Shrugged: Anti Dog-Eat-Dog Act.
To go along with the No Abilities Act, how about compensation that is commensurate with their lack of abilities?
The more unable a person is, the bigger the compensation, to make them feel better about themselves.
No work skills? $20/hr wages.
You don’t know basic arithmetic? $5 extra per hour.
No reading skills? $10 extra.
No social skills? $10 extra.
No desire to learn? $20 extra.
Hate your boss and co-”workers”? $10 extra.
Contribute to the liberals/democrats? $50 dollars extra.
Need to be driven to and from “work”? $10 extra.
Basically, the No Abilities Act would be the new path to becoming a millionaire. Problem for those millionaires would be: they wouldn’t have any know-how for how to spend their riches.
Heh.
POI (Point of Impact).
I thought that’s what unions were for.
I think a more appropriate acronym would be People Owing Other People .... POOP !
I wonder if just having a high school diploma these days qualifies you for the Americans With No Abilities Act?
Bill?? Is that you out there, in the funny hat??
bookmarked
the title alone is priceless
thanks for the chuckle, grim as it is
Why not. We have an Occupier in the White Hut with no discernible abilities.
Thanks for posting, gave me a much needed laugh :)
From the end of 1989 through 1996, the number of children receiving SSI benefits more than tripled from 265,000 to about 955,000. (Adults are considered disabled if they are unable to engage in substantial gainful activity by reason of a medically determinable physical or mental impairment expected to result in death or last at least 12 months. 42 U.S.C. § 1382c(a)(3)(A).) United States Government Accountability Office, Statement of Daniel Bertoni, Director Education, Workforce, and Income Security, October 27, 2011 (http://waysandmeans.house.gov/UploadedFiles/Daniel_Bertoni_Testimony_1127.pdf)
SSA data show the number of child applicants with mental impairments increased 60 percent between fiscal year 2000 and fiscal year 2010, while the total number of SSI child beneficiaries with mental impairments on the rolls grew 52 percent from 543,000 to 827,000. In fiscal year 2010, about 62 percent of all SSI child applicants had a mental impairment as a primary diagnosis, and about 67 percent of those applicants were medically approved for benefits. ^
The number of children found to be medically eligible for SSI due to speech and language delay nearly tripled between fiscal years 2000 to 2010. ^
As of December 2010, the average monthly child benefit was $597. All but five states and the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands supplement federal SSI benefits with additional payments. ^
ADD/ADHD represent the single largest primary diagnostic group, and the number of children found to be medically eligible because of ADD/ADHD increased by more than 100 percent, even though the majority of ADD/ADHD applications over the years have been medically denied. ^
79 percent of 434,000 SSI recipients under age 18 with mental impairments who had reached their scheduled CDR [Continuing Disability Reviews] date (every 3 years) had exceeded the scheduled date by at least a year. ^
Good stuff.
Just to be clear, though, this IS a parody, right?
Right?
Please tell me this is satire.
Even if it's not, please tell me it is.