[Yaelle]

I've had so much joy in my life. But this part isn't so great.

[Roccus]

Hang in there FRiend.
Do not get angry with yourself when you feel frustration or a tinge of resentment.
Realize that, aside from the actual work of caring for your Dad, just knowing the inevitable outcome is quite a burden.

The more I think about this the more comes to mind. Taking care of a parent with this disease can be...IS...quite overwhelming at times.

Learn to grasp the ‘good’ days (hours, minutes) when they come, because they will be fewer and farther spaced all too soon.

‘Taint easy...and in the future, when you think back and second guess yourself...don't. You are doing the right thing...and for the right reason.

[Sivad]

Thank you for that.

Tonite I was working at my dad’s computer. He will be 88 on
Xmas Eve. He was a combat wounded WWII paratrooper.
Mom died a year and a half ago after 64 yrs of wedlock.
My older sister takes care of him.

His computer is in a room where he hangs plaques, career
momentos, and photos like the 24x20 of him, Governor Reagan,
and three other men he can’t recall the names of in the Gov’s
office. As Pop walked by me he asked if I had known he holds
a PhD in vocational agriculture education? I said “ Sure Dad,
your diploma is hanging right there.” He replied “I saw that
this morning but I didn’t know.”

I couldn’t help but shed a tear as I read your message

God Bless your father and you.

[Winstons Julia]

My prayers are with you.

[Winstons Julia]

My prayers are with you.

[Smokin' Joe]

What a tremendous tribute.

Those of us who can remember must do so for those who cannot.

As one of my grandmothers faded, I learned to take pleasure in the moment of her company, knowing full well she might not remember tomorrow, and to give her gifts which she could enjoy--simple things like home made jelly to give a moment of pleasure back to someone who had given me so much.

She's gone home now, but I still remember, and that is enough.

[sneakers]

Oh my dear, my heart goes out to you! My mom had dementia, though we think it was caused by brain seizures. I saw your question about coconut oil. I myself have been researching it. I just did a search and found the following website:

http://healthimpactnews.com/2012/coconut-oil-and-alzheimer%E2%80%99s-disease-the-news-is-spreading/

Watch the videos. There is a man in one video who’s doctor wanted to put him in a home, but the man’s wife refused and she heard about coconut oil and decided to try. The man who has the alzheimers is the one talking in the video.

My prayers are going up for you and your dad

God bless,
sneaks

[arasina]

Made me cry, but I needed to anyway. Beautifully written, Yaelle. You revealed some of your father's loveable character in it.

I have a family member who has been diagnosed with FTD (frontotemporal dementia) which is similar to Alzheimer's.

[lysie]

My prayers are with you and your Dad.

[Pinkbell]

I’ll pray for your father. I lost a grandfather to dementia and a grandma to Alzheimer’s. It’s a horrific disease, and it is heartbreaking seeing someone you love slowly slipping away. Their body is there, but their mind slowly isn’t. Towards the end of her life, my grandma would ask about her mom and her uncle who died decades before. She forgot who all but about six people were. What you wrote is beautiful by the way.

[2nd amendment mama]

Oh my ...my screen is very blurry. Thank you so very much for sharing that - it’s very, very touching. You are a very kind, special and loving daughter. I know your Dad is proud of you.

[Vermont Lt]

We are going through this for the third time (two uncles and an aunt for whom we are primary caregivers).

I am sympathetic. It is hard, frustrating, and sad.

Lots of folks will give you good advice, so I will tell you one of the most important things: keep your sense of humor. If you cannot laugh once in a while....all you will do is cry.

Hang in there. It’s not a burden...it’s a work of love.

[SledgeCS]

I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s and it was probably the hardest challenge of my life so far. Near the end the only person she recognized was me, my mother thinks it was because I was her first grandson. I tried so visit her every week and always in the afternoons, she so loved to visit the rose garden at the home even after she could no longer walk or even remember that the flower was called a rose. But every time she smelled the roses there was light in her eyes but it dimmed much too fast.

R.I.P Nana

[luvie]

Prayers for your father to have peace and the comfort of knowing deep down that God and his family love him!

God give you and the rest of the family strength and courage for this journey with him.

[aposiopetic]

Thank you for posting this, painful though it may be. To echo what MestaMachine said, you continue to honor your father and by example encourage the rest of us to do likewise in our own lives, while we can.

[Vermont Lt]

We are going through this for the third time (two uncles and an aunt for whom we are primary caregivers).

I am sympathetic. It is hard, frustrating, and sad.

Lots of folks will give you good advice, so I will tell you one of the most important things: keep your sense of humor. If you cannot laugh once in a while....all you will do is cry.

Hang in there. It’s not a burden...it’s a work of love.

[Drawsing]

Beautiful bit of prose/poetry. I lost my dad back in 2009 to alzheimers. Started with hallucinations and went downhill from there. We were blessed in that he never lost his sweet personality. Let me know if you need to talk.

[primatreat]

I am the youngest of 8. I am very close to 70. My mother and all of my siblings have suffered and eventually died in their 70’s fully consumed with this disease. I do not look forward to my sad journey. It started with recent memory loss two years ago. It is a horrible trip that I do not think I want to go on.
I started a business in ‘71 that has grown nicely and has provided my family and well as 35 employes a good life fulfilled by doing good things to many.
Realizing my future, I transferred control to my most valuable staff 6 years ago. I look back and i am so glad I did before the “beast” takes complete control.
I have enjoyed being a “freeper” since “99.
Thank God for spell checkers. I have forgotten how to spell even simple words.

[MSSC6644]

What a beautiful and loving tribute. I don’t know if this can help, but as a child, I was taught a prayer to begin my day. It’s called a Morning Offering. One simply offers all the “prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day,” to God for the intentions of those who are joining in the spirit of this prayer and for those we want to remember to the Lord’s care.

There are so many joys and sufferings, so many works and prayers all the time. Care taking is truly a gift. After my dad died, I finally realized that the best four and a half years of my life were those I was privileged to live with him as his care taker. The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. You, your father and your loved ones are now in my prayers.

[Alamo-Girl]

Thank you so much for sharing this, dear Yaelle! I am praying for your dad and you.

[xp38]

My mother had Alzheimers for about the last 5 years of her life. I had the luxury of taking care of her. I never felt her mind was going just changing and altering. Her personality remained the same to me. It’s likely she never had the advanced stage of the disease so that was fortunate I suppose. She passed away from cancer before that happened. I never felt closer to her in those last years of her life taking care of her. In 2003 we drove across the country to Las Vegas and LA. I knew she would not remember any of it but I felt it was worthwhile to live in the moment. She did enjoy it. I don’t know if I did everything right in dealing with it all but I tried to do my best which is all we can do. I hope the best for you in dealing with it all.