ATTENTION ALL EARTHLINGS! KNEEL TO RECEIVE A MESSAGE FROM MARTIAN COMMANDER GELSNOT - You have invaded our planet and shot lasers at our rocks and now you plan to use a sharp instrument upon us. Cease immediately! As terms of your surrender, you will send us Hostess Ding-Dongs and salsa! Oh, and DVDs of your ruler Barney the purple dinosaur. You may now return to your banal existence.
I like your warped sense of humor :-)