Posted on 09/07/2012 6:43:44 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day on it. They still couldn't get President Obama out of Bill Clinton's shadow. ~ Jay Leno
The stoner comedy duo Harold and Kumar are starring in a new promo for the Democratic convention alongside President Obama, which is pretty impressive. The only other person to go from smoking pot with buddies to the White House is President Obama. ~ Jay Leno
President Obama's re-election campaign said that this year they'll knock on 150 percent more doors than they did in 2008. Well, of course they will. They have to. There's so many foreclosures it's tough to tell where people live. ~ Jay Leno
They announced today that they are moving President Obama's speech tomorrow night indoors, from the 74,000-seat stadium to a smaller venue due to the possibility of severe weather. See, apparently the campaign is concerned about this well-known weather phenomenon known as empty seats. ~ Jay Leno
Today, the Democrats added the word "God" to the official party platform. It's in the part that reads, "Did you see Michelle Obama's biceps. Oh, my God!" ~ Conan
There's a lot going on tonight. The first NFL game tonight, the Democratic National Convention, a new episode of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." Everything that we are as a nation is all rolled up into one tonight. ~ Jimmy Kimmel
Actually, President Obama's speech at the DNC has been moved inside to the Time Warner Arena. You can tell it's Time Warner because Obama will give the speech two weeks from Friday, between the hours of 12 and 4. ~ Jimmy Fallon"If you're a donor to President Obama's campaign, you were promised exclusive access to Joe Biden – and for an extra $10,000 absolutely no access to Joe Biden." –Conan O'Brien
"Former President Bill Clinton will be in Charlotte tomorrow night. And he'll also be at the convention." –David Letterman
"What a different four years makes. At the last Democratic Convention the theme was 'hope and change' this time it’s 'hope you don’t make a change.'" –Jay Leno
The first two nights of the Democratic convention are at the Time Warner Cable Arena and the big speech by President Obama will be at the Bank of America Stadium. That’s good thinking, the two things Americans love most: cable companies and banks. ~ Jay Leno
The Democratic National Convention is under way. For three days in Charlotte, N.C., everything the Democrats do is good. And everything Republicans do is evil. It doesn't bother me. I live in Hollywood. It is like that here every day. ~ Craig Ferguson
Former Democratic nominee John Kerry is going to give a speech about foreign policy. It will be like Clint Eastwood's speech except this time the empty chairs will be in the audience. ~ Craig FergusonOn Saturday the White House released President Obama's personal recipe for a home-brewed beer. That's how bad the economy is. Not only is our president drinking, he's drinking beer he made in his bathtub. ~ Jimmy Kimmel
There are reports that nine of the hotels being used for politicians at the Democratic National Convention have bedbugs. When asked what it’s like to have to deal with thousands of ruthless bloodsuckers, the bedbugs were like, “Eh, it’s OK.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama's speech at the DNC has been moved inside to the Time Warner arena. You can tell it's Time Warner because Obama will give the speech two weeks from Friday sometime between 2 and 4." –Jimmy Fallonnnn
"The first two nights of the Democratic convention are at the Time Warner Cable Arena and the big speech by President Obama will be at the Bank of America Stadium. That’s good thinking, the two things Americans love most: cable companies and banks." –Jay Leno
"Former Democratic nominee John Kerry is going to give a speech about foreign policy. It will be like Clint Eastwood's speech except this time the empty chairs will be in the audience." –Craig Ferguson
"I hope they go easy on Clint Eastwood. It wasn't his best performance last week at the Republican convention, but he's given us decades of great films. So Democrats, if you're looking to mock Mitt Romney by dragging an inanimate object out onto the stage, why not just use Mitt Romney?" –Craig Ferguson
"There are reports that nine of the hotels being used for politicians at the Democratic National Convention have bedbugs. When asked what it’s like to have to deal with thousands of ruthless bloodsuckers, the bedbugs were like, 'Eh, it's OK.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Much like the Republicans, the Democrats are also going to have a mystery speaker. I believe it's Mitt Romney's dog." –Jay Leno
"The Democrats are getting ready for their convention in north Carolina. Or as they told Joe Biden, South Carolina." –Jay Leno
"Two California Democratic delegates have already been kicked out of convention for getting completely drunk. One passed out, the other was accused of impersonating a member of Congress. They knew he wasn't a real member of Congress because he was buying his own drinks with his money." –Jay Leno
"It was just announced that most of the speakers at this year’s Democratic National Convention will be women. But it’s going to be annoying when they stop speaking, but won’t tell you why." –Jimmy Fallon
"The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway is the perfect place for the Democratic Convention. You go around in circles, turn left every few seconds, and you end up right where you started." –Jay Leno
"A new study shows that the phrase most often used by President Obama is, 'Let me be clear.' The phrase he uses the least often? 'Let me be specific.'" —Jay Leno
Bump for later reading.
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