Posted on 08/31/2012 5:52:25 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Seriously, what kind of sick person puts a zebra in a coloring book?
time to shine
friend: idk
me: with a pair of caesars
Rush is talking about Eastwood’s speech right now.
That's nothing. Next week an empty suit will use 2 teleprompters to speak to the Democrat Convention.
From a bumper sticker...
“Who cares where Obama was born. It’s where he lives now that’s the problem.”
That has GOT to be the scariest thing to ever face over a cup of coffee... *cringe*
*shudder*
LOL! Perfect!
You made me LOL! I love that one.
Count every ‘F’ in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
HOW MANY?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6!
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go back and try to find the six F’s before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process ‘OF’.
Incredible or what?
Go back and look again!
Anyone who counts all six ‘F’s’ on the first go is a genius!
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
That is so perfect. If only every amab’o voter would see it and think carefully about its truth.
That is worthy of its own thread...more people need to see that...
Distinction between Guts and Balls
To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, ‘You’re next, Chubby.’
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
You made me think of these:
THESE ARE SOME ENTRIES IN A COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ‘cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other ...
that is, until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is
sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl’s
empty, and so is your head.
(More than 2 lines, but too good to disqualify)
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe ‘Go to hell.’
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?
Coming right up...
ROFL!
lol
I did the 6. So who cares?
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