Distinction between Guts and Balls
To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, ‘You’re next, Chubby.’
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
You made me think of these:
THESE ARE SOME ENTRIES IN A COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ‘cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other ...
that is, until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is
sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl’s
empty, and so is your head.
(More than 2 lines, but too good to disqualify)
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe ‘Go to hell.’
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?