Posted on 08/07/2012 9:29:23 PM PDT by mlizzy
It is probably one of the hardest things a gay man will ever have to do and one has decided to share his heartbreaking experience with the world.
'James', 33, from Pennsylvania, uploaded a letter sent to him by his father five years ago on internet messaging board Reddit, shortly after he worked up the courage to come out to him.
James reveals he called his father to tell him the news in August 2007: 'I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
A brief and yet brilliant summary of the situation.
His son needs help, not abandonment.
My initial thoughts exactly. Haven’t we all learned not to accept things at face value?
I made a different choice with my son. But I understand and
will support that fathers’ choice. It was the son who chose to go down this path. Any son who chooses the homosexual lifestyle must either repent —and be reconciled to the father— or die in his sin. Unless there is repentance there can be no reconciliation. Perhaps the boys dad decided it was less painful to cut his losses now. Being on that rollercoaster ride to perdition by not cutting off the son certainly draws out the pain,and the anger. But does allow Hope.
“I see the kid’s official coming out message as sort of an in-your-face challenge to the dad, daring him to reject the kid’s choice.”
We don’t know what the ‘kid’ - OK, man in his late 20s - told his father. I’d bet you are right. Given how so many queers demand acceptance and support, he probably told his Dad how proud he was to be queer, and how his Dad could accept him like that or never speak to him again.
I had a child try that with me once over premarital sex. I could ‘accept’ it and be supportive, or they wouldn’t talk to me and I would never see any grandchild. I took them up on it and told them I did NOT approve & would not be blackmailed into pretending otherwise. If that meant no communication, so be it. It was over a year before we talked again.
If it had been 10 years, or 20, so be it.
Homosexual marriage is not about marriage, but about forcing heterosexuals to show approval of the ‘gay’ lifestyle. If I was the unfortunate father of this guy, I’d post something in public saying his behavior was evil and perverted, and that I do not and will never approve of it.
when someone chooses Satan over God. But it is Free Will.
I like your particular post, Free Will.
Homosexuality is nothing but perverted sex. Not proven to be a disease or conditioning, but a choice.
As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Matthew: 24:37
That's like saying an unruly child needs manners, not a spanking ....
Until the son recognizes that his sodomite lifestyle is evil and that he needs help, the son cannot be helped. In this respect, the sodomite is no different from the alcoholic or the drug addict.
I do not know a single father/son relationship that does not have some sort of conflict in it somewhere...It doesn't take a lot to read between the lines and see a father that feels shattered with disappointment...[who will] always fear for his son's physical health and spiritual well-being. Perhaps if this son was not so self absorbed and happy to wallow in his self pity and drama, he may have been able to feel his father's pain and attempt to bridge the gap...There is a great deal of commentary on this thread that is well thought out, but when I got to yours, my eyes welled up. I agree that sin is all about self; and yes, "some sort of conflict" is in all father/son relationships. And when the dad says, "If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand," I thought, while hopeless-sounding, it also showed a great love. And heck, even St. Monica finally kicked out Augustine, and although she never said she "disowned" him, neither did the father use that word in his letter. My guess is that he'd see his son again if he chose to leave his sinful lifestyle, however, now that his son has printed out his letter (complete with last name displayed in one of DM's captions last night--it's since been removed--maybe not).
The father was correct in doing the letter.
The same would have happened with a multitude of other “wrongs” committeed by the son.
I think the father is correct.
No invitations to family events, no invitations to reunions.
You do not need religion to determin such advocates are not welcome around civilized family. No place in or around children.
The lost son is just that lost. He is no different than being dead.
You have said this exactly right, and very succinctly. This IS the correct view of things. Thanks you for your words.
This father, and I use the term loosely, obviously has the mental maturity of a 12 year old. Although he takes heat for it here on FR, I can understand Dick Cheney a lot more easily than I can this jerk.
Guess anonymity isn't his bag. It's really a moot point. His SN was tied to his Flickr account which had his name on it. Matter of time.
You do not know the background leading up to this final act, and neither do I. But, knowing the several homosexuals that I do, I can pretty accurately guess that there was more betrayal and deceit committed by the son than just "coming out."
I'm positive that he didn't just tell his father that he was attracted to men. He probably said that he was in a "gay" relationship and that if his father didn't like it, he could stuff it.
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