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Does a Man Ever Truly Stop Loving His Ex-Wife?
Dail Mail ^ | 6 July 2012 | Sandra Howard

Posted on 07/06/2012 8:04:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway

SANDRA HOWARD asks the question that unsettles every woman whose husband is divorced

Years after their divorce, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner remained deeply in love. I saw for myself how abiding their mutual affection was when, one evening, more than a decade after they had separated, I joined them for supper.

Frank and Ava, the great crooner and the Hollywood star, were dining quietly in an unassuming New York restaurant and my first husband, jazz pianist Robin Douglas-Home, and I had been invited, too.

Frank and Robin had forged a friendship over a biography he had been writing of Sinatra. I was modelling for the Eileen Ford agency in New York at the time. It was 1962, a full five years after Frank and Ava had divorced when the four of us enjoyed that modest meal together. Yet what endures in my memory is the palpable chemistry that still existed between the singer and the actress.

Although he was married four times, Frank’s one great love remained Ava, and vice versa. I recall how they sat close together on a bench seat in that restaurant all evening, his arm draped around her shoulder, a proprietorial smile of pride on his face.

She was sinuous and elegant in a classic black dress: Frank once said she had the ‘easy grace of a tigress’. Although their marriage had been volatile, their love for each other never faltered. Ava, in fact, never married again. But Frank did: twice more in fact, and I have often wondered whether Ava’s successor, the waif-like actress Mia Farrow, felt undermined by the potent attraction Ol’ Blue Eyes felt for her beautiful predecessor.

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...


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To: nickcarraway
...Does a Man Ever Truly Stop Loving His Ex-Wife?...

Which one?

21 posted on 07/06/2012 8:35:27 PM PDT by FReepaholic (Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.)
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To: nickcarraway
Does a Man Ever Truly Stop Loving His Ex-Wife?

Depends. Is she Ava Gardner?
22 posted on 07/06/2012 8:39:54 PM PDT by AnotherUnixGeek
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To: nickcarraway

Nope, never stopped loving her...I just can’t get over all the betrayals. ALL the betrayals.


23 posted on 07/06/2012 8:40:45 PM PDT by gilor (Pull the wool over your own eyes!)
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To: ottbmare

That’s what I have witnessed, a lot. Sometimes there is really poison but often it is a dark phase of life that would pass if people stayed true to their love or a fling that soon fizzles out but too late.

People get unrealistic expectations and think the grass is greener only to find out it was an illusion. Security comes from family ties and love.


24 posted on 07/06/2012 8:44:09 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: nickcarraway

Some people think too much


25 posted on 07/06/2012 8:54:53 PM PDT by InvisibleChurch ( if you love, you will not condemn, and if you condemn, you cannot love)
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To: nickcarraway

FRREEEEEEDOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,


26 posted on 07/06/2012 8:55:19 PM PDT by muleskinner
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To: redangus

Wow, sounds like you two were soul mates. This does happen and it happened to you. A man or woman really only has room for one true love at any one time. Men are monogamous however and can have one true love and the others, physical play things. A good man commits and stays with just one woman out of sense of duty, but that’s not instinctive.


27 posted on 07/06/2012 8:56:04 PM PDT by GeorgeWashingtonsGhost
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To: WestwardHo; nickcarraway; Secret Agent Man

I knew an attorney years ago who had been married a few times and told me he was never getting married again; he would just find a bitch he hated every three years and buy her a house...


28 posted on 07/06/2012 8:57:23 PM PDT by One Name (Go to the enemy's home court and smoke his ass.)
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To: redangus

I don’t want to get too personal, redangus... but does your current wife know of your feelings and the letter? If she does... she must adore you. Not all women would be quite understanding of that particular situation. IMHO


29 posted on 07/06/2012 9:06:20 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: nickcarraway
Heard these words of wisdom on the radio:

"My first wife died. My second wife ... wouldn't

30 posted on 07/06/2012 9:06:51 PM PDT by ZOOKER ( Exploring the fine line between cynicism and outright depression)
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To: nickcarraway
I wish I could say otherwise, but I have been married four times and two of my former husbands, the publicist David Wynne-Morgan and advertising executive Nigel Grandfield, had ex-wives.

Having been a second wife twice over, it is a huge relief to me that my present husband, Michael Howard — to whom I have been happily wed for 37 years — had never before been married.

Mr. Howard is quite a gambler!

31 posted on 07/06/2012 9:08:12 PM PDT by iowamark
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To: nickcarraway
I married rather late in life (54). I watched my friends go thru many marriages and affairs, break-ups, re-groupings and divorces as I happily went through my life. I watches, as a single happy guy as they went thru these painful occurences. Guys slept at my place - Wives told me their stories over tearful hand-holdings. I saw how it affected families and children - I wanted nothing to do with that part of human nature.
Yeah...there were a few long-term happy marriages. But these were the rare exception.
I truly understand why 1st marriages are often referred to as "Trainer Marriages."

Finally I decided that enough was enough and got married.

My Dear Wife had been married very briefly, 1.5 yrs, previous. She was/is a successful person in her own right and has no need of financial support. She, WE, also have a 16 yr old Son from her 1st marriage. Good kid - still looking for the instruction manual on raising these things. (Yeah, I know - the Bible. Got it)

However, I do still, after 9 yrs, occasionally refer to her as my "First Wife"...quickly explained as my "#1 Wife."


..freedom is wonderful thing...I know...I have many pleasant memories of it.
32 posted on 07/06/2012 9:11:53 PM PDT by Tainan (Cogito, ergo conservatus sum)
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To: nickcarraway

For me the answer is no but my case is a little different. My first wife was murdered right before she was to have our first child 45 years ago in Louisville, KY. Right now I am on my fifth marriage and it is more for convenience than anything else. The two songs I relate to most are Bob Seger’s “Against the Wind” and Meatloaf’s “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”


33 posted on 07/06/2012 9:16:41 PM PDT by Datom
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To: nickcarraway

My first wife is the only woman I ever loved or wanted to love. Everything since has just been grating noise. I haven’t seen her in 30 years but we speak and write frequently. She’s my best friend and I can’t imagine life without her.


34 posted on 07/06/2012 9:19:23 PM PDT by davius (You can roll manure in powdered sugar but that don't make it a jelly doughnut.)
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To: nickcarraway

You could say the same thing about ‘puppy love’ and ‘first love’

Get over it already...lol

(spoken as the second wife :>)... 29 years


35 posted on 07/06/2012 9:21:16 PM PDT by libertarian27 (Check my profile page for the FReeper Online Cookbook 2011)
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To: Datom

“My first wife was murdered right before she was to have our first child 45 years ago in Louisville, KY.”

Gees, Louise. I am so sorry.


36 posted on 07/06/2012 9:21:37 PM PDT by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto.)
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To: cpdiii
It is often the case that we men are in love with the projection we have made upon a gal who caught our fancy. The chemistry is complicated by the nature of human beings. There are two types of humans (male or female), conscious and unconscious. We men tend to be more of the unconscious variety, but we tend to wake up as the little boy confronts reality in a close relationship with 'not mom'. Women tend to be of the unconscious variety IF they are more of the Choleric type, take charge selectors of a mate (read more directed by their animus than their anima). There are two types: conscious and unconscious; and four personality categories: choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine.

The great love of my life was an unconscious choleric and the 24 years we spent together could best be described as a power struggle. But I continue to love her unquestionably. What is sad is how many times a divorce tends to awaken and rectify many character flaws, yet the spouses will not 'take another look' at the 'improved other'. It's all very Jungian don'tchaknow.

37 posted on 07/06/2012 9:23:32 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: MHGinTN

“It is often the case that we men are in love with the projection we have made upon a gal who caught our fancy.”

That was my take too. They can continue to love the idealized “vision” of their ex, when reality is very different.


38 posted on 07/06/2012 9:36:24 PM PDT by M1903A1 ("We shed all that is good and virtuous for that which is shoddy and sleazy... and call it progress")
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To: nickcarraway

stupid question.


39 posted on 07/06/2012 9:42:26 PM PDT by fish hawk (Religion: Man's attempt to gain salvation or the approbation of God by his own works)
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To: nickcarraway
The question should be: "Does a man ever stop hating his ex-wife?"
40 posted on 07/06/2012 9:44:01 PM PDT by Hoodat (“An unlimited power to tax involves, necessarily, a power to destroy.” - John Marshall)
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