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Rage

Posted on 07/05/2012 10:05:58 PM PDT by mamelukesabre

I've heard people use the expression "out of my mind", "temporary insanity", "I wasn't myself", etc. I've never paid much attention to these expressions and always believed them to be BS.

Then I experienced it this 4th of July.

No point in going into too many details leading up to the event. It did not end in violence or damage to personal property. I received a series of threats via voicemail, phone calls, and text messages. And then something changed in my brain. It was like a switch was turned on. The rage was so intense and powerful and instantaneous it was like a drug had been injected into my veins. I actually had about 5 out-of-body experiences each lasting just a couple seconds at most. I remember very little of the next few hours that came after the threats. During those brief out-of-body experiences I observed myself saying and doing things that did not come from me. It was like there were two people inside my head and the one that wasn't me had taken over during those brief out-of-body periods. When I was inside my own body, my brain still was not functioning properly. I could not remember from one moment to the next what I was doing. I would be saying things and forget the previous sentence I had just said, but kept on shouting anyway. I doubt I was making any sense whatsoever. This wasn't just a moment of anger. The whole episode lasted 2 hours easily.

Resisting the rage was exhausting and I did not want to continue resisting. I wanted to force a face to face meeting so I could let it out. Luckily that never happened. There was no face to face meeting.

I have never experienced this before and hope I never do again. I think there is some kind of dormant insanity in my head. I don't know how else to explain how I could have another person in there.

I now believe temporary insanity is real.


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KEYWORDS: jeffbebber; susanboycewatkins
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To: mamelukesabre

Whoaa... Simmer down big fella.


21 posted on 07/05/2012 11:17:27 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mamelukesabre

This doesn’t sound good at all.


22 posted on 07/05/2012 11:18:28 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: mamelukesabre

“I think there is some kind of dormant insanity in my head.”

To quote ELO, “welcome to the human race”. I wouldn’t say it’s insanity, but more like our “animal” nature, or as the Christians might say, our “fleshly self”. Under the right circumstances, your higher brain functions will give way to the lower ones, then add some adrenaline, and you can do things that you never thought you were capable of. It can be very scary, since it is as if a stranger is in control of your body, and not you.

Maybe it’s just a defense mechanism, or maybe, as I believe, there is more of a spiritual element to it, but all the same, it’s not insanity, since insanity implies that it is abnormal. This is very normal behavior, it just only manifests itself usually in more extreme circumstances.


23 posted on 07/05/2012 11:19:21 PM PDT by Boogieman
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To: mamelukesabre
I received a series of threats via voicemail, phone calls, and text messages. And then something changed in my brain. It was like a switch was turned on.

Are you taking any medication? Sometimes I wonder if meds that don't appear to cause side effects, plant little time bombs instead. That is, everything might seem fine until the body is overwhelmed by say, a massive stress, meaning a sudden hormonal change. But if a drug is affecting the endocrine system... ?

I wonder about that kind of stuff because how many times do we hear of people on anti-depressants or ADHD/ADD meds suddenly "snapping". It's always a chicken or the egg argument, so who knows.

/idle speculations

In any case, do take good care. Prayers for your good health in body, mind, and spirit.

24 posted on 07/05/2012 11:25:46 PM PDT by Ezekiel (The Obama-nation began with the Inauguration of Desolation.)
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To: smokingfrog

Serious.

Death threats coming from the ex boyfriend of the lady I was with that day. She was more disturbed by my response to the death threats than she was with the death threats and no longer wants anything to do with me.


25 posted on 07/05/2012 11:28:39 PM PDT by mamelukesabre
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To: Ezekiel

Bath salts. Eat the one you’re with.


26 posted on 07/05/2012 11:29:46 PM PDT by budwiesest (It's that girl from Alaska, again.)
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To: mamelukesabre
But what score did the East German judge give the Machine?

Just remember that no matter how bad things get, at least you're not the poor guy who wakes up every morning and the first thing he sees is Debbie Wasserman Schultz. So you've got that going for you.

27 posted on 07/05/2012 11:31:33 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult

I just grossed myself out at the thought of that horrid vision.


28 posted on 07/05/2012 11:35:07 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: mamelukesabre

Not only is temporary insanity real but it can occur due to irregularities in the brain. I mean physiological abnormalities.

I’m sorry you experienced it.

I hope and pray you get the situation squared away peacefully.


29 posted on 07/05/2012 11:44:28 PM PDT by Freedom_Is_Not_Free (REPEAL OBAMACARE. Nothing else matters.)
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To: mamelukesabre
So he got what he wanted out of you, perhaps. He has a chance now to reconnect with her. That is perhaps why he did not show. He never intended to show. Just wanted to jerk your chain until something happened. He has reinserted control over the situation. If she has an ex like that, she has lots of baggage. Hopefully you did not make threats towards him, otherwise you might also be getting a followup visit from the sheriff.

My 2 cents.

30 posted on 07/05/2012 11:50:59 PM PDT by justa-hairyape
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To: mamelukesabre

Thank you for your testimony.

You didn’t start the situation, and you went out honestly and angrily to resolve it.

Don’t beat yourself up. That adrenaline-fueled fight or flight reaction, with its concomitant reduction in fine control, is part of the reason that modern soldiers still carry bayonets.

You’ve experienced something most people never have to deal with: and by the grace of God no-one got killed or maimed.

We can all acknowledge that this (*usually* unhelpful reaction) is what we may kick into in an emergency or when provoked - and be better prepared to head it off next time.


31 posted on 07/06/2012 12:06:34 AM PDT by agere_contra
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To: mamelukesabre

I have paused to say a prayer for you.

About the only thing I can think of that might change her mind is if you sought psychological counseling or anger management or some kind of authoritative outside help to show that you don’t want that blind rage behavior in your life. As long as you don’t know what came over you and are surprised that it ever happened, how can she know what came over you and when it might happen again? You can’t promise her it won’t happen again until you get a handle on what happened. I hope you take the bull by the horns and find out. I am very sorry for what you have been through, it sounds more than just ‘rough’ or ‘painful’ and I will keep you in my prayers.


32 posted on 07/06/2012 12:13:55 AM PDT by ransomnote
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To: mamelukesabre

Call on Jesus when that stuff happens.


33 posted on 07/06/2012 12:15:29 AM PDT by donna (Mitt quote: ...gay couples raising kids. That's the American way...)
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To: mamelukesabre

Welcome to the world of having ‘seen red’. Learn to control and channel that energy. There is a go/no-go point where you can stop it or turn it loose. It can enhance mental and physical performance once you learn to rein it in.


34 posted on 07/06/2012 12:45:16 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: mamelukesabre

Sometimes I think I post on FR a little too much about myself, especially considering in the big picture I am really a nobody. But then I read your item about temporary insanity on the day I have an appointment for a tattoo and I wonder what are the chances of that?!

I came across a website of a tattoo artist that is not far from me and she is so talented and beautiful that I was like “Oh yea I am getting a tattoo!” and made an appointment.

I told my wife this morning: “btw I am getting a tattoo today”. And she laughed.

I am 47!!


35 posted on 07/06/2012 12:54:01 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
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To: mamelukesabre

I believe most of us have a spring in our cerebral motherboard that gets wound up a litle, everytime we HAVE to kiss ass when we really don’t want to. Then some ahole catches us in a really defenceless position and “pushes the button” that turns that spring loose and IT over-reacts!

Cops are famous for just beating the shit out of some poor drunk that won’t shut up. They are also famous for coming home under a great mental stress and pounding the hell out of the wife! I love cops and couldn’t do their job for one day.

My wife had a coworker under her command that was married to a city cop. One day he came home and they got into a quarrel over something that remains a mystery. He just took out his service weapon stuck it up to his head, said “is this what you want?” BOOM!!!!!!

They were a beautiful couple of young people that one would never expect something crazy out of!

At the time I thought “my God I would NEVER let a woman get under my skin like that!!!”

I was wrong! I didn’t kill anyone but I came damned close to killing someone, a woman, with my bare hands! I was just in a bad mood and our first real argument after 25 years of marriage and it got into physical match of strength after she punched me and I still feel guilty when I think I almost chopped her down with a deadly punch!!!

There was a little voice in my head that was screaming “don’t do it!!!!” repeatedly!

That was about 15 years ago and we are still cohabitating and I am still walking around loose! (as in un -jailed)

I believe it can happen to almost any of us! I also believe it is unhealthy to go 25 years without raising your voice occasionally!!


36 posted on 07/06/2012 1:03:45 AM PDT by Howie
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To: mamelukesabre

With all due respect, it might be good to mention this to your doctor. Like someone said things like this could possibly lead to a stroke.
Hate for something like that to happen to you.
God bless.


37 posted on 07/06/2012 1:09:38 AM PDT by patriot08 (TEXAS GAL- born and bred and proud of it!)
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Maybe it has something to do with a big dump of adrenaline, especially if you’re not used to such it, into your system?

I remember an event happened at work that was very stressful to a co-worker. At the beginning of the event I ran up to her, laid out a game plan for the both of us before sprinting off. I happened to find the problem and took care of it. When things cooled down she asked, “Where were you?” She honestly believed she hadn’t seen or talked to me. I thought it was a good example of how how court testimonies can be so varied and even contradictory when people are part of a traumatic event.


38 posted on 07/06/2012 1:38:14 AM PDT by Hayride
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To: mamelukesabre

>> I have never experienced this before...

And you’ve been posting here for how long?

Good to know you didn’t do anything stupid.


39 posted on 07/06/2012 1:48:22 AM PDT by Gene Eric (Demoralization is a weapon of the enemy. Don't get it, don't spread it!)
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To: mamelukesabre

>> She was more disturbed by my response to the death threats than she was with the death threats and no longer wants anything to do with me.

One day that will makes sense. In the meantime, watch your back, and consider getting some legal cover should things get nasty. You’ve already admitted to a particular state mind, not that that is an uncommon trait.


40 posted on 07/06/2012 2:04:49 AM PDT by Gene Eric (Demoralization is a weapon of the enemy. Don't get it, don't spread it!)
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