Posted on 06/18/2012 1:21:42 PM PDT by pabianice
Well, I just saw "Prometheus."
***************SPOILERS******************************
First, forget the professional reviews. They have either been paid for, or the reviewers have some personal problems.
First, the good. The CGI and set production is great. Vivid colors, beautifully lit, every background detail is unimpeachable. This movie is the latest proof that movies have been given-over to looks over everything else.
Now, the bad. This movie has been given over to CGI and FX. The plot is incoherent and the characters act so stupidly that it is impossible not to laugh at what are supposed to be the most dramatic scenes. A robot is frequently the most human character.
The plot is wafer thin. We first see an alien making his body explode next to a waterfall as a huge flying saucer hovers overhead. Then on to AD 2089, where computers match ancient cave paintings to a constellation a la "Stargate." Then we see a ship entering orbit around a planet in 2093, bearing 17 explorers who have come to check-out the planet at the center of a distant solar system. The first laugh comes from the timing. The movie would have you believe that in just 80 years from now we have corporations sending-out huge FTL ships bearing people who have been in hypersleep while traveling 500,000 light years in two years time. Makes Star Trek look conservative. This nonsensical timing makes you think of Obama ending the manned space program and just detracts from the plot.
Now, the crew. The crew looks, acts, and sounds like mental patients at a half-way house. The very cream of scientific humanity, we are led to believe, most of whom signed-on to this suicide mission without having been told what the mission is. The ship's captain has apparently watched too many "Miami Vice" reruns. The corporate boss on board is the done-to-death beautiful ice princess who lacks any humanity. Perhaps I spent too much time in the real Navy, but all this ship of doofuses did was make me laugh. Zero situational awareness and just plain stupidity. Whomever wrote the script is completely clueless about military operations. Hell, even police operations.
Anyway, the ship lands and immediately the crew runs out to investigate the dangerous-looking, mysterious structures that look like giant termite hives topped by the figures of human heads. Weapons? Of course not. These are "scientists." Oooo… the tension! The movie then descends into a very bad Nightmare on Elm Street parody. The crew gets lost inside the hive. Duh! What do they do? They take-off their helmets and leave them behind because they discover that inside the air is breathable. No matter that the next chamber may be poisonous and kill them all. Real SA.
In short order they find lots of alien bodies a la the giant figure on the pilot’s seat in the alien spaceship from the movie of that name. Something bad has happened here, people! They manage to snag the head of a dead alien to cart back to their ship when out of nowhere a mob of T5 tornadoes appears and makes the crew hustle a mad dash back to the ship. Of course, there is the compulsory people-caught-in-a- whirlwind scene that has zero drama. And two crewmen are left stranded in the hive until the wind abates. Of course, both are soon eaten horribly by monsters. I expected them to have red shirts on under their spacesuits.
Back aboard the ship, things go from bad to stupid. The friendly robot -- for no imaginable reason -- poisons some champagne with alien spores and then gives the drink to one of the brainless crewmembers. Of course, he soon metamorphosises to a hulking, super-strong alien with black goo squirting out of his arteries while he tries to kill the rest of the crew. Been there, seen that. And, per 100 previous monster movies, he proves almost impossible to kill. Soon, the entire crew is fighting giant alien exploding heads and one becomes pregnant with an alien baby. In perhaps the film’s most gripping scene, this poor woman she uses an automated medical care unit to give herself a caesarian as she screams in pain and watches the monster be dragged from her innards while the blood really flies. If any of this seems familiar, it’s because the film is supposed to be a prequel to the classic “Alien” from 1979.
But wait! There’s more! The robot figures-out how to reanimate the remaining alien humanoid in stasis. As Arnold Schwarzenegger says in “The Last Action Hero,” Big Mistake! The reanimated alien is a murderous psychopath whose DNA is human, hence the first scene of the exploding alien at the waterfall. You see, the aliens seeded their own DNA onto Earth, creating humans. Don’t worry about the whole “Then where did the rest of life on Earth come from?” question. It’s best at this point to stop asking questions about the plot of this movie.
In short order, the nusto alien kills almost the entire remaining crew by pulling their heads off (obviously didn’t read the “We Come In Peace” primer). We then learn that he is on the way to Earth with a cargo of black goo that kills everything. His reason? You got me. But it makes the crippled story line at least move in some direction. So, the scientist who just had a caesarean done by the machine becomes the last one standing, trying to get what is left of the crew to destroy the angry alien’s ship before it can launch on its way to Earth and kill everyone. I was kinda pulling for her since she has just had her two foot long incision stapled up by an industrial milling machine and it has just gotta really, really hurt. The alien’s ship is, of course, a duplicate of the one the crew of Nostromo found in “Alien.” Get it?
Anyway, it gets even more confusing and violent and I’ll let it go at this point. Suffice it to say that the “Alien” movie stuff really spills out of everywhere (and I mean “spills”) and the angry alien is stopped from going to Earth. “Prometheus” even lets loose ends fly so there can be a sequel. If they can find someone who can actually write. I hope it’s not the team that wrote this bomb.
This may have been a good 80 minute movie. But at 2+ hours, it’s just a prolonged disappointment.
BTW, I have no connections to the movie industry. I am just disappointed that science fiction has fallen so far from Harlan Ellison, Arthur Clarke, Larry Niven, Ray Bradbury, Philip Dick, Robert Sheckley, and so many others. Save your money and wait for this to come to cable next January. With a couple of cold ones in you and sitting on your own comfy couch, it probably won’t seem as bad.
To each his own I guess. I loved it. Saw it twice.
I saw Battleship. My wife and I laughed and laughed at it. We at a lot of popcorn and killed a couple of hours, laughing and holding hands in the dark. But we didn’t expect anything from Battleship, I expected a lot more from Ridley Scott and was greatly disappointed.
We were picking a movie to see today and we watched to trailer form this movie and the one for the Marigold Hotel. I was shocked that hubby wants to see Marigold Hotel. After awhile all these big blockbuster 3D all start looking the same. We decided to pass.
Moonrise Kingdom is a great little film by Wes Anderson. He did The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tannebaums, to name just two.
And the maps were not addressable by the people that needed them... guess differential gps like equipment was not available ..or evan loran...
May have time seq wrong but I think she was talking to capt before they exited ship (and she suited up)
but you may well be correct.
Staying with plotdevicium
Major as in cost like an MRI you are correct it was rare too I don’t see daughter not dearist not having the code for females loaded if she really was that much into survival.
Still it was not a bad movie, just not up to what was expected by me, maybe I just expected too much.
The critics reviews called Prometheus “Brilliant”, “Stunning”, “Ground Breaking”, etc.
Well, it was certainly none of those things. But it was an ok movie overall. I don’t regret watching it.
The 3D effects were brilliant. It is an amazing movie visually.
But the script was marginal at best, the acting was sub-par (even the talented Charlize Theron seemed to be mailing it in), and the dialogue was very weak.
It was definitely not the movie event of the summer (”Avengers” all the way on that one). But it was a decent enough movie. If people are into the creepy Alien genre, I would recommend seeing the movie on the big screen.
It took me till the end of the movie to get it. I looked at my kid and said, “prequel to Alien.” My kid then asks how could the good Dr. Shaw give herself a cesarean and 500 years later, Ripley is telling the doctors to get this thing out of her.
It looks like they had GPS, but as we’ve already learned they’re of limited use. If you take a wrong turn you take a wrong turn. Their big mistake was not bothering to communicate to the ship until they’d gotten themselves good and turned around, then when they called they were told the storm was coming and to sit tight.
Maybe the daughter couldn’t get it, it’s a rare device, probably rare code too. And really unless you’re trying to get an abortion the difference is pretty small. Most of the arteries and important stuff are in the same places.
I thought it was a lot better than expected.
I thought it was a really good movie, I enjoyed the heck out of it, so did my friend. I intend to see it again.
And to everyone who can’t figure out why the creator alien wanted to whack mankind...if you created mankind, what would you want to do with it at this point?
I tell you I’d be mixing me up some black goo and packing it on my earth bound ship right about now, and if any of ‘em came along and tried to stop me, I’d beat ‘em just like he did in the movie.
That was the first face-hugger in her womb, not an alien implanted in her chest by a face-hugger.
There’s a difference there!
I HATED the movie. Almost every facet of the story had HUUUUUGE holes.
The film's only positive was the special effects. These were truly stunning in IMAX 3D.
If I hadn't paid extra, but saw it in just standard format, I would have REALLY hated the movie. Special effects and the IMAX 3D formatting brought my grade of the movie up to a C-. Without IMAX 3D, this movie merited a solid D.
If you want to see a movie to be entertained while you think about work, go see Battleship. If you want to see a movie to think about at work see Prometheus.
The subplot involving Dr. Shaw's cross (and faith) was intriguing. Remember that the reanimated Engineers head told "David" that they were going back to Earth to start over. That was 2000 years ago...........
Of course this is only a work of fiction. Truth, as always, will be far stranger.
“Now, the bad. This movie has been given over to CGI and FX. The plot is incoherent and the characters act so stupidly that it is impossible not to laugh at what are supposed to be the most dramatic scenes.””
It’s not just movies, it’s the entire country...
“Now, the bad. This NATION has been given over to CGI and FX. The politics are incoherent and the characters act so stupidly that it is impossible not to laugh at what are supposed to be the most dramatic scenes.””
Sequel coming this November.
i thought so anyway... tried watching it several times but seeing Frashier's brother Niles every time i looked at the android didn't help either
I’m still going to see it, and I give this snarky review two thumbs down. Who wrote it, Rachel Maddow?
What did this guy think of “Avatar”? That was supposed to be some great movie, but it was just a ripoff of “Dances With Wolves” with blue indians. If you have to rip off Kevin Costner, you’re starting out losing.
Think of the "god" Enlil in the book "The 12th Planet" or the satellite Nomad in the original Star Trek.
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