[Lucky9teen]

10 Ways That Obama Has Brought Us Out of the Dark and Into the Light

Weird soundbites coming out of this campaign.

Like this oddball statement from the First Lady:

[Michelle] Obama closed by asking the audience three times, “Are you in?”

“Because I am so in,” she said over the applause. “We have an amazing story to tell. This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.”

Now generally that’s a metaphor for something GOOD happening to you, but given Barack’s unmitigated record of disaster, it can’t possibly be true in this case. So maybe she meant it like:
______________

1) The obvious death-metaphor of “walking toward the light.”

2) Train tunnel. Train coming. Obama likes trains.

3) Sunny, breezy, summer day. The roof of your house blows off.

4) Meditating with a single candle. Your curtains catch on fire.

5) Sleeping peacefully at 3am, the EPA exercises a no-knock warrant by throwing a flash-grenade through your window to remind you to use compact fluorescent bulbs.

6) You’re an old-school vampire and your name’s not Blade.

7) “You develop your own film? Cool! Let’s have a look at what’s soaking in the tray!” [click]

8) Out parking with your best girl and Officer McNosy puts 1500 lumens into your eyes.

9) Anyone remember the end of “Stalag 17″?

10) Oh look! Cyclops took his visor off!

 

 

[ShadowAce]

IBTP!! Woohoo!!!! It’s finally Friday!!!

[Currentriverrat]

WOOOOOOO HOO TGIF

[Old Sarge]

In Before the Ping - Hotdamn!!

[21stCenturion]

In !!!

[Rummyfan]

TOP TWENTY!

[dayglored]

Top 15? Top 20?

[Disambiguator]

Top < 100!

[OB1kNOb]

In before 20! Woot!

[OB1kNOb]

[gorush]

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND...

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of
me Life, between the legs of me wife !”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best
toast of the night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me and I was a bit surprised myself...
You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years.
“Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

[red-dawg]

HOT DOG IT'S FRIDAY!!!

[goseminoles]

Happy 420 all!!!

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Jerry Garcia and Eric Clapton are captured by a tribe of cannibals in the South Pacific. Before they are to be killed and cooked for the night’s feast, the tribe’s chief asks them if they have any final requests.

Jerry says, “Just hand me a guitar and let me play ‘Dark Star’ one last time.”

The chief then turns to Eric and asks, “How about you?”

Eric replies, “Kill me before he starts.”

[FrankR]

[Sax]

[BenLurkin]

[Liberty Valance]

Not really sillines but i got a good chuckle out of this one.

This guy was told by his Homeowners Association that he
couldn’t fly the American flag in his yard. So…

[martin_fierro]

[mojitojoe]

[unique1]