Posted on 04/18/2012 6:43:11 AM PDT by Kaslin
Dear Dave,
Does it matter whether it’s the husband or the wife who keeps the checkbook and pays the bills? Lots of people say that kind of thing is the man’s job, but I was curious about what you think.
Daniel
Dear Daniel,
I don’t think it matters one bit, and here’s why.
In each family there’s a nerd and a free spirit. The nerd is good at keeping track of things and putting everything in its place. The free spirit is just the opposite. They are not detail-oriented. Now, this doesn’t make them irresponsible or mean that they don’t care. It’s just that they aren’t blessed with a gift for administration. They want things to be good and right just as much as the nerd, but they don’t necessarily get a rush when the checkbook balances out.
Just because the nerd keeps the checkbook doesn’t mean he or she gets to make all the financial decisions, either. In a marriage, those decisions should be made together with input from both the husband and wife. Remember, God didn’t unite some kind of joint business venture. He made you as one – together. When you do a budget each month, you should both sit down and come to a mature, reasonable and respectful agreement on where the money’s going.
So, when it comes down to the act of keeping the checkbook, I think whoever is the more organized of the two should handle this duty. But if you include these other principles, you’ll experience more unity in your daily lives together and have better communication in your marriage!
—Dave
Dear Dave,
I just began a business with a friend as an LLC partnership. I know he’s honest and a hard worker, but I’m still a little scared that everything will fall apart and we’ll walk away mad at each other. We used a CPA to get a tax ID number and help us set up the company. Do you think we should pay a lawyer to help us map out the partnership agreement in writing?
Mike
Dear Mike,
Drawing up a written partnership agreement may be the only shot you’d have at walking away from this venture with your friendship still intact. But I don’t think you need to hand some lawyer a bunch of money to make it happen.
Chances are, your new business doesn’t need that level of detail. All you need is someone to help you draw up a template that answers all the “what if” questions. This template can be as simple as a list of all the things that could go wrong and the answers to those scenarios. These would be things like death, disability, moral failure, bankruptcy, etc., and what happens if any of these occur.
You know, there are hardly ever problems in a business venture when everyone’s happy and making piles of money. But it can get rough if you begin to disagree over the direction the company is taking. Or, what if personal issues make you decide you don’t want to be in business with the other person anymore?
It’s easy to go all pie-in-the-sky over these things, but you have to make plans for any and all of the worst outcomes, too.
—Dave
As long as both people know how to pay the bills, know where all of their financial documents are, and are familiar with their current financial situation. On more than a few occasions, I've seen a situation where the bookkeeping spouse dies and the surviving spouse doesn't have a clue about what to do or where things are.
The second answer is just dumb. Lay people really don’t have a good idea of the “what ifs” involved in business partnerships. For $500 up front, you can get a lawyer to make you think about these things and get you to agree on a plan for ending the partnership or LLC or whatever. How many lay people would think about and be able to draft provisions relating to:
-Death of one or both parties.
-Bankruptcy of one or both parties.
-Responsibility for additional capital contributions.
-Ability to exit and force a buy out.
-Valuation at different exit trigger events.
-Claims by a divorcing spouse relating to a partner’s / member’s interest in the business (both under a community property and a normal jurisdiction).
-Right to hold a position and draw a salary from the business.
-Responsibility for losses.
-Responsibility for ultra vires actions by one of the members that injures the business.
-Dispute resolution.
-Etc.
That clarity is what saves friendships and families, not a Norman Rockwell ideal of scratching out the business relationship over beer.
From the beginning of their marriage, my father brought home the check and handed it to my mother, and that was that.
On the other hand, when it came to planning for retirement and making sure she was provided for, he was on top of everything.
Does it matter whether it’s the husband or the wife who keeps the checkbook and pays the bills? Lots of people say that kind of thing is the man’s job, but I was curious about what you think.
I don’t think it matters one bit, and here’s why.
Of COURSE it matters, you moron! BILLIONS of dollars and the future of the Republic ride on it!
Television is an estrogen-saturated wasteland because merchants and advertisers (but I repeat myself) have figured out that She is making all the purchasing decisions and holds the checkbook.
Look at all the car ads that make men look stupid -- that alone should clue you. (Not counting car ads run during events in the Sports Ghetto (TM) .)
A clueless young journaliste, in 1997, stood up and embarrassed herself during a C-SPAN event by asking a Ladies' Home Journal senior executive (an older woman), during the Q&A after a talk, "Why isn't there more programming on television specifically for women?" The executive stopped for a second, blinded by the blaze of ignorance and stupidity, and proceeded to administer a memorable beat-down about how ALL of television programming, except sports, is ALL about Her. Exclusively. No exceptions. Advertising, content -- it's a 24-hour All About Her show.
It's why, the executive concluded with a squelching thud, finishing off the juniorette, men are such compulsive channel-surfers. For them, there is nothing on -- NOTHING.
I can confirm that, and I can add my own rule, concerning News Programming, in the evening but especially in the morning.
All News programming has three elements:
- A woman talking
- A doctor
- A child or baby, or children.
Check it out. See if I'm not right.
In each family there’s a nerd and a free spirit
What a dumb@** statement derived from a pea brain.
You forgot animal (baby or chupacabra or bigfoot)
The preacher said, “and now you are one.”
Dave Ramsey Fan Ping List.
If you would like to be added to the “Live like no one else, so that you can LIVE like no one else” list, feel free to Freepmail me.
The preacher said, “and now you are one.”
Dave Ramsey Fan Ping List.
If you would like to be added to the “Live like no one else, so that you can LIVE like no one else” list, feel free to Freepmail me.
“She is making all the purchasing decisions”
This is the failure in your screed. Dave espouses that both the husband and wife are involved in ALL purchase decisions. In fact, the budget is an agreement between the two and is a monthly reminder to them that they need to be in agreement on their money plans and goals.
You think it is dumb to acknowledge that each individual has a unique personality, yet are joined in a marriage? In addition, do you think it is dumb to take advantage of each of the spouses best personality traits?
I suspect that you may have been one of the callers to his show yesterday and are just looking to attack...
Do you always speak about something when you KNOW you don’t know a damn thing what you are talking about? I don’t even turn on the radio - so much for your ‘thinking’ skills.
They are made ONE and your interpretation is they are robots. Does someone hold your hand when crossing the street?
2. What "fail"? -- That is what is going on. People who thinks it makes no difference, default to the wife making all the practical purchases, and this is the secular result of the husband's being at work all the time earning and turning his paycheck over to her, and her spending it.
You are the one that called Dave Ramsey a “pea brain,” yet you acknowledge you “don’t even turn on the radio.” You then claim that my “interpretation is that they are robots.”
When Dave mentions that “in every marriage there is a nerd and a free spirit” all he is referencing is that each individual is unique and when money is handled that each of their talents should be utilized while they work together to reach agreements about spending and financial planning.
Yes, I speak about Dave Ramsey’s system and believe me I know more about it than many. I’d give you my credentials, but I’ve spent enough time correcting your purposefully ignorant post.
1. You started our post by calling Dave a “moron” then you proceeded to type a long post addressing him. That is a screed.
2. Your answer is completely unrelated to Dave Ramsey. He espouses that it makes a very big difference that both spouses work together on the budget, come to agreement on all purchase decisions, etc.
Perhaps you used this article as an opportunity to address a personal concern that you have, but by starting out calling Dave a “moron” you deflected from any general concern you may have about society.
“in every marriage there is a nerd and a free spirit” all he is referencing is that each individual is unique and when money is handled that each of their talents should be utilized while they work together to reach agreements about spending and financial planning.
Again, wrong. The 'when' and 'should' is key. He's trying to create an ideal situation.
The 'unique talent' is what? No talent is needed - ONLY plain old COMMON SENSE! How many "free spirits' are married together - with their credit card debt and buying homes they could never support because the banks said they could afford it. Credit card debt has been soaring for years. Discipline and common sense is all that is needed.
And by kindergarten you either have it or don't! ' UNIQUE TALENT' LOL! It's unique because so few have it and if one happens to makes a poor choice in marrying someone w/o a lick of sense and discipline, who can financially ruin them, it can take them years to undo the damage. It's harder instilling good habits in an adult than a child!
and believe me I know more about it than many. I’d give you my credentials,
LOL!! I just read your 'credentials' with the 'I know better than anyone' attitude. Is that you, Hillary or Obama or Rove?
but I’ve spent enough time correcting your purposefully ignorant post.
Your time is precious - you have a lot to catch up on to undo your ignorance with that 'high and mighty' attitude. Get busy.
Try this and see if it helps: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/screed
We aren't in the building trades, no money exchanges or business memoranda were involved, and that leaves "diatribe", which mischaracterizes my post -- I'll assume, involuntarily due to incapacity.
Your answer is completely unrelated to Dave Ramsey. He espouses that it makes a very big difference that both spouses work together on the budget....
As far as not understanding or relating to what Ramsey said, please go back and notice that I quoted him when he said it didn't matter, and then I laid down the corrective information of which apparently Ramsey is unaware, and of which the merchants of our world, with their huge advertising budgets, are acutely aware.
That is not a "a bitter, sharply abusive denunciation, attack, or criticism", which is what a "diatribe" is. Unless you thought that was a denunciation. For an example of what I call a "denunciation", keyword search my recent posts for "Obama" or "Obozo".
the future of the Republic ride on it!
Yep, and we are being led right where they want us. No one seems to be able or want to think for themselves - and 'where we are' is proof of that.
“I don’t have to know Dave or listen to him to make an opinion of him”
So you prefer to continue to be purposefully ignorant. That is fine until you say:
“Discipline and common sense is all that is needed.”
That is precisely what Dave teaches, so I don’t understand why you started with an attack on him and continue to act like his teachings are the issue in our society. In fact, posters on one of his sites have entered their “debt paid off or money saved” amounts and it has tabulated to $48.5M so far.
His statement that drew your ire was a very loose generalization, which should be expected in any article that has such limited space.
I honestly don’t understand the two of you attacking Dave Ramsey. You both actually agree with him, but chose a very general statement to a specific question in a very “space limited” article. Both of your responses are very petty and you both ignore the points that I made.
I wish you both the best of luck. I will no longer engage in such pettiness.
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