Posted on 03/14/2012 9:30:42 AM PDT by Morgana
March 14, 2012 (AmericanThinker.com) - My soul carries a new scar. The pain is fresh and keen, and I know that while time might see the pain fade, I will never fully recover from what I’ve seen, and done. For I have failed, intentionally and knowingly, in the first duty of a parent: protecting the lives of two of my children.
My wife and I wanted children; alas, we needed IVF treatment to realize this dream. Several cycles and multiple embryo implantations later, we welcomed our blessing from G-d, who is the light of our lives.
Recently, we tried for another.
“It never rains, but it pours,” said the fertility doctor—of the three embryos that were implanted, all three took. We were faced with the news of triplets. I was shocked, knowing the burden that would entail, but since G-d gave us three, I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to help, manage, and provide.
My wife? Something snapped. She insisted that we do a “selective reduction” from three to one, or else she would have a full abortion. She was adamant. She would not carry three. She would not carry two.
I was presented with a Coventry-esque decision: save one, or save none. I chose the former, though I tried on several occasions to convince her to at least keep twins. I failed.
We were told, point-blank, by the doctor who would do the procedure that they would inject potassium chloride into the placenta to stop the hearts. We were told, point-blank, that it was painless. Even then, I knew I was being lied to, but given the choice presented, I agreed anyway. My mantra became “Save one, or save none.”
Before the procedure, my wife’s eyes teared up; she asked the doctor over and over if they would feel pain, and was assured they would not. I asked again if my wife was sure about this because once done, it could not be undone. She said she was sure, but her tears and her looking away from the screen, deliberately, and her wanting me to not look either, told me the truth: she knew as well that this was wrong. I wanted to insist that she look, but I think that her mind—already fractured by the news of triplets—would have snapped permanently had she seen the images onscreen. And to save the one, and for the sake of the one we already had, I needed my wife sane.
My wife didn’t look, but I had to. I had to know what would happen to my children. I had to know how they would die.
Each retreated, pushing away, as the needle entered the amniotic sac. They did not inject into the placenta, but directly into each child’s torso. Each one crumpled as the needle pierced the body. I saw the heart stop in the first, and mine almost did, too. The other’s heart fought, but ten minutes later they looked again, and it too had ceased.
The doctors had the gall to call the potassium chloride, the chemical that stopped children’s hearts, “medicine.” I wanted to ask what they were trying cure—life? But bitter words would not undo what had happened. I swallowed anything I might have said.
I know they felt pain. I know they felt panic. And I know this was murder. I take cold comfort in knowing that as far as we can tell, the survivor is still fine, and in knowing that this decision did not come from me; I would have taken the chance on triplets, even with all the work and effort it would have required. I pray that this one child will come to term, will be born into this world alive and healthy, and I know he or she will have all our love.
But that emotional scar will ache my whole life. I see my child’s smile every night and anticipate a new one in some months…but I think of the two smiles I will never see. Every day, returning from work, I hear “Hi Daddy!” and know there are two voices and two giggles that I will never hear. I play with and cuddle my child, looking forward to the same with the second…but I know there are two sets of hands that will never touch mine, two sets of toes that will never be counted, two hugs that will forever be absent from my arms.
I pray to G-d every day to take those two innocents to Him, to welcome them, and I ask them every day for forgiveness. As I will every day for the rest of my life. I don’t know what accommodation my wife will make mentally and spiritually. That is her business, and a burden her conscience must bear.
But let nobody fool you. It is not painless for the child, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Abortion is not an excision of a featureless bunch of cells; it is infanticide. We have revived the practice of child sacrifice to the new deities of casual sex and convenience. We rationalize the reality of murder by altering our perspective of the nascent life through euphemisms like “fetus” or descriptions of “a clump of cells”...just like the Nazis convinced themselves that the people screaming as they were shot or gassed were “Untermenchen,” subhuman, and therefore guiltlessly exterminated.
This is how every perpetrator of genocide has always rationalized his or her actions. By doing likewise, we condemn our own souls
I wept in joy, a few years ago, when I saw my first child’s heartbeat on the screen. And I weep in agony now at the memory of two of my children’s heartbeats being stilled. “Save one, or save none” has been eclipsed by “Out, out, damned spot!” as I wonder how I can redeem myself.
If, by baring this scar for others to see, I can prevent an abortion, perhaps that will help to balance the scales for when I face G-d’s justice and I finally meet those two children—who I hope will forgive me for my failure.
Nice one, Joe.
My pleasure, friend.
So...after 69 years on the planet, I finally get to put some letters after my name:
re_nortex, OZKO
That's actually a lot more prestigious than a mere PhD! :-) Thanks!
OZKO! It has a nice ring to it.
It looks like a fantasy ferris wheel.
IATZ. My what a foul-mouthed hard-hearted creature you are. Buh-bye.
Not really. This was one of your posts on this thread...
I just get tired of stories being posted repeatedly. This is one of many. Why do you ask?
It's not about you. Many of us wouldn't have seen it had it not been reposted. You're the one trying to stop FReepers from posting. That's something the Prez of a HOA would do.
I won't keep you away from your critical tasks any longer. Shouldn't you be measuring your neighbor's shrubbery and writing angy letters to city hall?
No, I’m not into measuring; I’ll leave that up to you. But, thanks for your kind thoughts.
Yet you remarked on the number of times this story was posted.
Counting, measuring...whatever.
I’ll leave that up to you
I don't care how many times this is posted. I was glad to see it; had it not been reposted I would have missed it.
But, thanks for your kind thoughts.
Back atcha.
“This was written by someone with an agenda-—his feelings and morals don’t match his actions. He knows it’s murder, but goes along with it?”
Of course this story might not be true (I hope it’s not true, actually) but I clicked the link and Life Site News says it is a reprint from American Thinker. I think those are two pretty reputable sites and I imagine they would have verified the truth of the story, or at least the identity of the author, since the med recs would be confidential.
But please realize there have been many stories about these “selective reductions” and this is not such a rare “procedure” anymore.
One infamous one was printed in the NY Times (I think, or something at least that well known) and the authoress portrayed herself as rather remorseless over what she had done. I always remember the line about if she had triplets (I think it was triplets reduced to one, who had been born by the time the piece was written iirc) she’d end up being the type of person who bought giant jars of mayonnaise at Costco.
Hubby and I recently joined Costco and while we were there I saw those giant jars. I said to hubby “see those, a woman killed her child just because she didn’t want to buy them”.
And it is a fact that men, even husbands, have NO SAY in whether of not their children are born. I suppose this man could have gone to court, but other men have, and they have lost. Abortion is legally a constitutional right and that is just about that.
I’ve always wondered what the child of that Times article would think of his mother when he grew up and learned she’d had his sibling(s) killed.
Number Of Abortions Since Roe V Wade: Just Under 55 Million (One Child Every 30 Seconds Since Passage)
January 23rd, 2012 Posted By Doc Holiday.
(LifeNews) — A new estimate published by the National Right to Life Committee indicates there have been an estimated 54,559,615 abortions since the Supreme Court handed down its 1973 Roe vs. Wade decision allowing virtually unlimited abortions.
Although the March for Life took place today, yesterday was the 39th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton decisions — companion cases from Texas and Georgia that struck down pro-life laws protecting unborn children across the country.
In a new document, “Abortion Statistics: United States Data and Trends,” NRLC education director Dr. Randall K. O’Bannon estimates that there have been 54,559,615 abortions since 1973 based on data from both the Centers for Disease Control and the pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute, a former Planned Parenthood research arm. Guttmacher receives numbers directly from abortion centers themselves and is the prime source for more current figures because the Centers for Disease Control has never tabulated accurate numbers of abortions. The CDC relies on figures from state health departments, some of which rely on voluntary reporting — and it hasn’t had data from some states such as California and New Hampshire for more than a decade.
“Because of these different methods of data collection, GI has consistently obtained higher counts than the CDC. CDC researchers have admitted it probably undercounts the total number of abortions because reporting laws vary from state to state and some abortionists probably do not report or under-report the abortions they perform,” O’Bannon says.
“A nation that kills its own children is a nation without hope.” Pope John Paul II
Number Of Abortions Since Roe V Wade: Just Under 55 Million (One Child Every 30 Seconds Since Passage)
January 23rd, 2012 Posted By Doc Holiday.
(LifeNews) — A new estimate published by the National Right to Life Committee indicates there have been an estimated 54,559,615 abortions since the Supreme Court handed down its 1973 Roe vs. Wade decision allowing virtually unlimited abortions.
Although the March for Life took place today, yesterday was the 39th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton decisions — companion cases from Texas and Georgia that struck down pro-life laws protecting unborn children across the country.
In a new document, “Abortion Statistics: United States Data and Trends,” NRLC education director Dr. Randall K. O’Bannon estimates that there have been 54,559,615 abortions since 1973 based on data from both the Centers for Disease Control and the pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute, a former Planned Parenthood research arm. Guttmacher receives numbers directly from abortion centers themselves and is the prime source for more current figures because the Centers for Disease Control has never tabulated accurate numbers of abortions. The CDC relies on figures from state health departments, some of which rely on voluntary reporting — and it hasn’t had data from some states such as California and New Hampshire for more than a decade.
“Because of these different methods of data collection, GI has consistently obtained higher counts than the CDC. CDC researchers have admitted it probably undercounts the total number of abortions because reporting laws vary from state to state and some abortionists probably do not report or under-report the abortions they perform,” O’Bannon says.
“A nation that kills its own children is a nation without hope.” Pope John Paul II
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
