Woohoo!!! It’s Friday!!!!
Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said,
“Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2012!”
“Great Nancy , but how?” asked Harry.
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman , Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.
The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?”
“Yes we are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color.”
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador , lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two a**holes.
IBTF (in before the Freepathon)
oh boy! top ten?
Top five!
Finally Friday!
Everybody have a safety and happy weekend.
ah yes Cow and Chicken, one of my favorites
Obama's answer to high gas prices.
DID I READ THAT SIGN RIGHT?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
IN A LAUNDROMAT
Automatic Washing Machines:
Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes Out
IN A MEMPHIS DEPARTMENT STORE
Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE
Would The Person Who Took The Step Ladder Yesterday
Please Bring It Back Or Further Steps Will Be Taken
IN AN OFFICE
After Coffee Break Staff Should Empty The Coffee
Pot And Stand Upside Down On The Draining Board
OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP
We Exchange Anything - Bicycles, Washing Machines, Etc.
Why Not Bring Your Wife Along And Get A Wonderful Bargain?
NOTICE IN HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW
Closed Due To Illness
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK
Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE
For Anyone Who Has Children And Doesn’t Know It,
There Is A Day Care On The 1st Floor
NOTICE IN A FARMER’S FIELD
The Farmer Allows Walkers To Cross The Field For Free,
But The Bull Charges.
MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET
If You Cannot Read, This Leaflet
Will Tell You How To Get Lessons
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR
We Can Repair Anything.
(Please Knock Hard On The Door - The Bell Doesn’t Work)
TOP 25 ?!????
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans walk into a fine restaurant....
“I’m sorry,” says the maître d’, scrutinizing the group one by one and barring their entrance, “you can’t come in here without a Thai.”
Isn’t It Ironic? The food stamp program, part of the Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever.
Meanwhile, the Park Service, also part of the Department of Agriculture, asks us to “please do not feed the animals” because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.
_____
Being Popular On Facebook Is Like....
.....sitting at the “cool” table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
