(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[N. Theknow]

Char Wars Action Figures

[sunny48]

LOL, I’m sending them to my husband.

[sunny48]

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts.

God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it “Angel Food Cake,” and said, “It is good.” Satan then created chocolate cake and named it “Devil’s Food.”

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes! And super size them!” And Satan said, “It is Good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satin created obamacare

[Currentriverrat]

IBS ( in before saturday)

[unique1]

For all of you who have made disparaging remarks about President Obama, please read the following...

I’m sure most of us have read the so-called comparison of Lincoln and Kennedy, but did you ever consider the relationship between Obama and Lincoln?

You might be surprised...

Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and Barack Hussein Obama:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the same Bible.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois. Obama comes from Illinois.

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President.

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.

6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

7. Lincoln was a Republican. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln was in the United States military. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln believed in everyone carrying their own weight. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln did not waste taxpayers’ money on personal enjoyments. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

11. Lincoln was highly respected. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

12. Lincoln was born in the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

13. Lincoln was honest, so honest he was called Honest Abe. Obama is a skinny lawyer

14. Lincoln saved the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

15. Lincoln reunited a tragically divided country. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

So give the guy some credit: He doesn’t have a weight problem.

[unique1]

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 17 movies you would enjoy the most. It really works..... for MOST of us anyway!

Movie Test:
1. Pick a number from 1-9.
2. Multiply by 3.
3. Add 3.
4. Multiply by 3 again..
5. Now add the two digits of your answer together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 17 movies below:

Movie List:
1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Obama farewell speech of 2012
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire

Now, ain’t that something..?

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

As if it isn’t bad enough that he has all the good music, apparently the Devil has all the good food too!

[TheOldLady]

21. You have a lifetime supply of everything.

[TheOldLady]

First 120!

[BenLurkin]

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

I don't get this one. I am fairly sure southern women like pretty sparklies just as much as the rest of the women of the world.

[Apple Blossom]

Love #12. Please note tagline...

[llevrok]

35 years into our marriage, my wife was asking me those stupid "do you still love me" leading questions they all ask at one time or another.

When my response was vague, she said "Well, do you remember when the minister said 'Till death do us part' ?"

"Yeah", I replied. "I just didn't know it would be a competition!!"

And that's when the fight started.

[dragonblustar]

Did you get those from George Taki’s fan page? I saw his post of the toy story toys the other day on Facebook.

[doubled]

test

[Twinkie]

“Douchebag” is a sexist term!

[gimme1ibertee]

I am fairly sure southern women like pretty sparklies

Purty sparklys-Target & WalMart has em!!!