Please God, don't let it be in the Gator Navy. USS Giffords and USS Murtha are sufficient enough punishment.
@
Posted on 02/15/2012 7:41:51 PM PST by IDontLikeToPayTaxes
Excerpt:
"Where is that advice written? I remember reading it once or twice - and it was something I never did; just not my style. My instincts were spot on with this - as a nice Fleet LT we had a new guy coming to our command - a guy with a "reputation." You know the type. "
(Excerpt) Read more at cdrsalamander.blogspot.com ...
http://cdrsalamander.blogspot.com/2012/02/sunday-funnies.html
This is one of the most amazing pieces I've ever read; people just don't stop surprising me. This powerpoint show has gone viral.
Scroll to the bottom of the page for the slides, and you must absolutely click the "Comments" link.
Enjoy!
The slides for this disaster are at the bottom of the page. There is a link to click for each one.
And to think I recommended the USN to my son not knowing it was a farm team of nitwits like this chick. He’s been in for 4 of 6 and is counting the days.
Please God, don't let it be in the Gator Navy. USS Giffords and USS Murtha are sufficient enough punishment.
@
I’ve never seen or heard anything like it....is this common practice in the Navy?
She has managed to stay around so long because she made a point of staying clear of the catwalks and the main deck at night.
The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way.
It's the "new" Navy way.
Now hear this. All cabin boys report to the poop deck.
Wow! If you toss aside the amazingly creepy slides it is still interesting. Not a bad academic record, but the rest is really freaky. The J.O. billets are pretty typical for shoe warfare, but that a pretty short last afloat billet. I don’t think most people think of SD or even Pearl as forward deployed, either.
B WAAAAAAAAAhaahaaahahaa!
This GMM3 spit peanut butter cookies everywhere.
The world’s most potent fighting force is no contest against Affimative Action.
Is there any way to see this without signing up for Google documents’ page?
There is also a tradition of sending letters like that "for" people to certain schools. It is common for one's peers to write a letter in first person to the staff at Top Gun, extolling his prowess, intention to skip most of the lectures (because he's already an expert), but willingness to square away the staff while he holds court at the O'club.
This was a spoof from quite a few years ago, but decent...
From:
To: Commanding Officer, Damn Neck, VA
Subj: ANNOUNCING MY GLORIOUS RETURN TO THE INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY
1. Skipper, just got off the phone after deftly manipulating my detailer and arranging for my next highly successful tour of duty. Your lucky day, I’m headed your way, and none too soon! You can sit back, relax, and put those leave papers in. I’m bringing just what you need: a high-speed, low transition, pure octane injection of pure naval Intel Officer. By the way, my name’s LTJG xxx xxxxx, callsign “Brillo.” Please pass it on to your XO or First Lieutenant flunkee so he can get it right on my parking spot and office door.
2. First off, I wanted to introduce myself and get us off to the right start. You should know I pretty much kicked butt up here in the fleet, got a NAM for combat Ops in Operation ALLIED FORCE, so the Intel thing should be a piece of cake. I’m not saying I walk on water, just that it seems that way to those around me.
3. You have problems? Just send Brillo in. There’s no hornet’s nest too big. I’ll clean out the dead wood and get things up and running Brillo style (sleek and mean) in no time. Just take it easy on the paperwork; old Brillo is none too fond of the Admin stuff. No, you’ll get the best use out of me and derive the greatest benefit if you just let me run my own show. Gotta keep us thoroughbreds happy - let the reins out and let us run. Giddy-up!
4. I think I already mentioned the parking spot. We Fleet bubbas belong up front and in the middle with the big boys. Warriors like me shouldn’t have to walk too far, and besides Brillo needs ready access to his chariot for his many trips to the gym. Brillo is no weakling. You’re not just getting another officer, you’re getting a lean, mean, fighting machine, and you gotta like that. A physique like this doesn’t come by chance. No, it takes hours a day to maintain a form like this. I’m sure a two hour lunch is the standard down there anyway. Also, I know this backwater shore tour thing is a cakewalk, so leaving early is probably encouraged. Brillo appreciates that kind of encouragement.
5. I’ve enclosed several photographs. They’re not from my best side, but I ran out of those. You might want to have your PAO send one over to the base paper to keep on file. There’s gotta be plenty of chances for heroics down there, and I feel lucky.
6. That’s about all I can think of up front, boss. I’m confident I can straighten out any of your screwed-up programs, divisions, or departments down there. After I’m through with them, they will know the meaning of the word “military discipline.”
7. Well, gotta get back to the Intel spaces. This letter writing stuff’s more paperwork than what I’ve done my whole tour here - that’ll bog down a guy like me. No worries skipper, ol’ Brillo is on his way!
LTJG USN
P.S. Could you pass on to that First Lieutenant flunkee that I’ll be needing a full length mirror in my office. Brillo has to maintain that impeccable military bearing. Thanks Big Guy!
OK, I think I understand.
But... powerpoint? Slides? Pictures and whizzy crap on every one of them?
Huhhhhh?
Please explain more of this to us civilians. I’ve been in large enough organizations to spot self-aggrandizing losers (and those who are bragged up so that their boss can get rid of them)... but there’s something about this that seems utterly over the top.
And wouldn’t a CO get a file through official channels on people assigned to his/her command as a normal function?
No question, this person would be considered a freak in the Navy. I did 20 years in the Navy and nobody in aviation would do something like this.
I don't know about the letter being standard practice, but I'm quite certain being an illiterate dolt, as this Lieutenant is, is not standard practice among Naval officers.
Not a bad academic record? I read through all the comments on that blog, and the theory is that it's a sham.
Did you read the words on the slides? This Lieutenant is damn near illiterate. I have no idea how she got a Masters degree in Mechanical Engineering.
Hmmm, good question. I wasn't aware that anybody had to sign up for Google documents. The slides are on a separate blog page. I just scrolled to the bottom and clicked the links for each slide.
Exactly!
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