Please God, don't let it be in the Gator Navy. USS Giffords and USS Murtha are sufficient enough punishment.
@
http://cdrsalamander.blogspot.com/2012/02/sunday-funnies.html
This is one of the most amazing pieces I've ever read; people just don't stop surprising me. This powerpoint show has gone viral.
Scroll to the bottom of the page for the slides, and you must absolutely click the "Comments" link.
Enjoy!
The slides for this disaster are at the bottom of the page. There is a link to click for each one.
Please God, don't let it be in the Gator Navy. USS Giffords and USS Murtha are sufficient enough punishment.
@
I’ve never seen or heard anything like it....is this common practice in the Navy?
She has managed to stay around so long because she made a point of staying clear of the catwalks and the main deck at night.
B WAAAAAAAAAhaahaaahahaa!
This GMM3 spit peanut butter cookies everywhere.
Is there any way to see this without signing up for Google documents’ page?
This was a spoof from quite a few years ago, but decent...
From:
To: Commanding Officer, Damn Neck, VA
Subj: ANNOUNCING MY GLORIOUS RETURN TO THE INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY
1. Skipper, just got off the phone after deftly manipulating my detailer and arranging for my next highly successful tour of duty. Your lucky day, I’m headed your way, and none too soon! You can sit back, relax, and put those leave papers in. I’m bringing just what you need: a high-speed, low transition, pure octane injection of pure naval Intel Officer. By the way, my name’s LTJG xxx xxxxx, callsign “Brillo.” Please pass it on to your XO or First Lieutenant flunkee so he can get it right on my parking spot and office door.
2. First off, I wanted to introduce myself and get us off to the right start. You should know I pretty much kicked butt up here in the fleet, got a NAM for combat Ops in Operation ALLIED FORCE, so the Intel thing should be a piece of cake. I’m not saying I walk on water, just that it seems that way to those around me.
3. You have problems? Just send Brillo in. There’s no hornet’s nest too big. I’ll clean out the dead wood and get things up and running Brillo style (sleek and mean) in no time. Just take it easy on the paperwork; old Brillo is none too fond of the Admin stuff. No, you’ll get the best use out of me and derive the greatest benefit if you just let me run my own show. Gotta keep us thoroughbreds happy - let the reins out and let us run. Giddy-up!
4. I think I already mentioned the parking spot. We Fleet bubbas belong up front and in the middle with the big boys. Warriors like me shouldn’t have to walk too far, and besides Brillo needs ready access to his chariot for his many trips to the gym. Brillo is no weakling. You’re not just getting another officer, you’re getting a lean, mean, fighting machine, and you gotta like that. A physique like this doesn’t come by chance. No, it takes hours a day to maintain a form like this. I’m sure a two hour lunch is the standard down there anyway. Also, I know this backwater shore tour thing is a cakewalk, so leaving early is probably encouraged. Brillo appreciates that kind of encouragement.
5. I’ve enclosed several photographs. They’re not from my best side, but I ran out of those. You might want to have your PAO send one over to the base paper to keep on file. There’s gotta be plenty of chances for heroics down there, and I feel lucky.
6. That’s about all I can think of up front, boss. I’m confident I can straighten out any of your screwed-up programs, divisions, or departments down there. After I’m through with them, they will know the meaning of the word “military discipline.”
7. Well, gotta get back to the Intel spaces. This letter writing stuff’s more paperwork than what I’ve done my whole tour here - that’ll bog down a guy like me. No worries skipper, ol’ Brillo is on his way!
LTJG USN
P.S. Could you pass on to that First Lieutenant flunkee that I’ll be needing a full length mirror in my office. Brillo has to maintain that impeccable military bearing. Thanks Big Guy!
If, this is not satire, then this young woman has torpedoed any kind of career she might have had — provided the Commanding Officer has any competence at all. I understand the Navy has become very PC these days (I retired in September of 1987), but this piece of blather is too much.
If this LT really believes this tripe, she’s delusional. Serious ship driving is not an affirmative action sport. Perhaps, when this LT reports aboard, it would be proper to ask her if she posted such a letter to the command and would she like to reclaim her honor by committing suicide? Or, tell her she will have to be twice as good as she thinks she is to get half a good FitRep.
Cheers!
I hope she was able to find the least common denominator.
Cheers!
Needs another bullet "Passionately devoted to spellcheck"
And the pic on slide 13 sure looks like it illustrates her list of hobbies such as "Cooking" or "Photography" eh?
Cheers!
Do. Not. Miss. This.
It is funny as heck, and scary as heck, all at once.
God help us if we get into a serious shooting war with many people like this in our military.
Bump to read at home ...
Thought you folks would “enjoy” this.
On the one hand it’s funny. On the other, it is very much not.
A little off topic but may be of interest. Hurl alert.
Click on pic for past Navair pings. Post or FReepmail me if you wish to be enlisted in or discharged from the Navair Pinglist. The only requirement for inclusion in the Navair Pinglist is an interest in Naval Aviation. This is a medium to low volume pinglist.
You know, during my son’s soft patch ceremony, one of the IP’s said something like, “Although constructive criticism is a mainstay of training programs of all types, here in the Naval Aviation Community, we find public ridicule to be a very effective training tool... .”
He and the other IP’s then went on to “roast” each new Naval Aviator in turn as the soft patches were presented.
Sounds like they need to institute this in SWO.
