Posted on 11/03/2011 7:44:39 AM PDT by Luther1917
AN ACTUAL MARINE’S CRAIG'S LIST PERSONAL AD To the guy who tried to mug me in downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex
Why does it seem most people always resort to Snopes to validate a story?
Who made Snopes the official website for the truth?
Snopes is a liberal run website.
There’s also a little girl or boy who needs dialysis and if you send in bottle caps it will help to pay for it, Pepsi wants to get rid of “under God” from the pledge of allegiance, a guy is going around shopping mall parking lots and spraying women with a perfume that’s actually knockout gas, more women are victims of domestic violence on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year, a veterinarian found a burglar’s finger in a dog’s stomach, and a woman with a beehive hairdo had a colony of spiders living in it.
Snopes is a liberal site and they hardly ever post anything negative about Barry Soreto.
Spoil sport...let us have our fun in reading these
You thought this might be a real story when it is obviously a joke.
ZOT!
Go away newbie!
I don’t care if it’s true or not ..I am ROFLOL!
Hey, come on - that’s hardly a warm welcome.
You’re right.
Are there really 1917 Luthers on this site?
Don’t forget waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a kidney missing.
Oldie but a goodie.
I agree with you! It’s funny even though it’s obviously made-up!
a worthy read! lol!
You forgot the girl who started smelling bad because she’d tanned so much her inards had cooked and started to decompose.
No he is just really old.
Snopes is useful to find urban legends, if you just ignore their political slant. But in this case, even before knowing this, it was pretty easy to tell that this “letter from a Marine” was bogus. A few rules of thumb about such compositions:
1) One lie is always more convincing than two or more.
2) Real stories almost never have an emotionally gratifying, no loose ends conclusion.
3) Details like makes, models, and styles do not lend credibility.
4) Writing about something you said almost always means something you wish you said.
5) There are objective facts, and then there are emotional events. The latter are preferred in urban legends because they invoke morality and caution.
I agree about Snopes. If it something completely non-political, then I will take it with a grain of salt, but it is an indicator.
If it IS political, or even contains a whiff of politics, I don’t bother. They are completely leftist.
I had a story emailed to me with graphic images of a man-eating grizzly bear that looked like it was 15 feet tall, and images of the people he supposedly ate.
Damn near gave me nightmares, but turned out the picture of the dead bear with the hunter was real, but that it was foreshortened to make the hunter look smaller and the bear look bigger. The pictures of the supposed victims were just pictures of people who had small animals munching on them after they had died in the woods, nothing to do with the bear.
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