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Posted on 09/01/2011 1:15:08 AM PDT by JustAmy
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Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in California, I was stopped by a state trooper in Kansas for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.
Later, I was stopped by another trooper. “What have I done?” I asked.
“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”
For those sarcastic moments
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder — my work here is done.
I plead contemporary insanity.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Meandering to a different drummer.
Really Slow...
A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section.
Later, the keeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open.
“Where are the tortoises?” he asked.
“I can’t believe it,” said the new employee, “I just opened the door and whooooosh, they were gone!”
King James Version (KJV)
“32.Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
33.When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.
34.And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.
35.Jesus wept.
36.Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!
37.And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?
38.Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it.
39.Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.
40.Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
41.Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.
42.And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me.
43.And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.
44.And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
45.Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him.”
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“Lord, when I learn that someone is hurting,
Help me know what to do and to say;
Speak to my heart and give me compassion,
Let Your great love flow through me today. —K. De Haan
Compassion offers whatever is necessary
to heal the hurts of others.”
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God bless the readers of thy Word and this thread, in Jesus name amen.
Doctor’s Guarantee
“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”
“Was he successful?”
“Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill.”
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Blurry screen!Thanks for this and the funnies, too.
I pray for strength and healing during this difficult treatment time, (((Dubya)))
LOL!! The other 2 cats don’t seemed to be bothered, luckily I’m thinking!! :) Thank you!!
;o)
You’re welcome.
Have a lazy Labor Day Weekend
and Happy Caturday!
Oh tiapam..That is the cutest pile of kittens! Lovely scene, too.
Thanks Meg!
I thought so, too!!
Powerful story, Dubya.
Thank you for sharing it.
Now I gotta get a roll of Bounty...Kleenex won’t do the job this time.
AMEN! Thank you for this story!
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Lamh Foistenach Abu!
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Lamh Foistenach Abu!
Love Sir Winston!
Prayers for you continue daily, Dubya!!
Lamh Foistenach Abu!
What a HOOT! Does Sir Winston have a doogie drivers license?
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