Posted on 08/06/2011 6:55:25 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets
In a series of dramatic midnight raids, Treasury Department SWAT teams, assisted by New York City Police Department’s Thought Crimes Squad, staged daring late night raids on the offices of bond rating agency Standard and Poors’ New York offices, as well as the homes of the firm’s executives in Larchmont, New York and Greenwich, Connecticut and other tony New York suburban settings. The agents were looking for signs that S&P’s recent downgrade of U.S. Debt was influenced by executives membership in the Tea Party, the Republican Party, membership in country clubs, conservative Christian or Jewish congregations, or other subversive and radical organizations. Top executives of the firms, along with their wives and children and the firms bond analysts were taken into custody and held incommunicado without bail or contact with their lawyers. A team of economic experts from the Treasury Department, not unlike a prize crew on a captured enemy vessel, has been installed to lead the company until it is straightened out, a Treasury Department spokesman informed reporters .
Attorney-General Holder indicated that they would be taken to the U.S. Naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba and held with other terrorists, until the government decided what to do with them. He did not indicate how long that might take, but said that people like this have no right to the protections of U.S. Courts, which the Constitution reserves solely for the victims of U.S. Government actions, like foreign terrorists or people who chase whites away from polling places.
When pressed for the reason for NYPD involvement, Mayor Bloomberg responded by saying, “Although it is not illegal to be a Republican or a conservative Jew it damn well ought to be, and that’s good enough for me to act. If you let people downgrade U.S. debt, next thing you know they’ll question Global Warming or serve their guests transfat, or in some extreme cases, even light up a Lucky.” Although Treasury Secretary Geithner was unavailable for comment, a spokesperson for the admitted tax cheat said, “We are just trying to send a message to Moodys and other bond rating agencies out there to watch themselves.” Asked to explain, he declined to give further details, adding only that “It’s a nice little bond rating agency you got there, shame if something was to happen to it.”
Foreign response was overwhelmingly positive. President Chavez of Venezuela sent President Obama a congratulatory message and said that he had ordered the Roman Catholic Cardinal of his country to say a Mass of Celebration to honor President Obama’s courage and decisiveness. Jacque Toutite, the head of the European Union’s standing committee on economic matters, praised President Obama’s decisiveness and foresight, saying, “The United States can now look forward to the kind of stable, sustainable economic future which we Europeans take for granted. Now, if only you were not so uptight about sex with minors and hotel maids, I might consider visiting the U.S. sometime.” Chinese President Hu Jintao declined to comment on the President’s actions, except to say, “They were asking for it. What took you so long?” German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s office issued a statement saying “The President’s action were completely consistent with our expectations and confirm our views of President Obama’s economic savvy and intellectual depth.”
New York Times gossip columnist Paul Krugman also praised the President’s action and said that this would get the U.S. “moving in the right direction”. Krugman pointed out that occasionally, one had to crack a few eggs. Another New York Times columnist, Thomas Friedman, also applauded the President’s actions, saying he was finally acting like the democratically elected dictator that he was.
Repeated calls to the offices of John Boehner, Eric Cantor and other Republican leaders went unanswered, with a message that the lines were permanently out of service. Fox News is apparently off the air for some reason, as is CNN and CNBC, with MSNBC playing on the channels previously assigned to these networks, as is all locally originated broadcasting. In fact, every television channel is current playing either MTV, BET or MSNBC. When a reporter called the popular golfer, Rush Limbaugh, for comment, he said “This is the first I heard about, but if true ARRRGGGG!” before hanging up the line.
Jack boot thug Administration at it’s worst. Amen.
Jack boot thug Administration at it’s worst. Amen.
Who is John Galt?
Ping
Good Sarcastic wit. This is almost believable.
I started rereading Orwell’s 1984. I’m only two chapters inside the book and realize that Obama may become his Big Brother.
..and I noticed this morning that all the tea products have disappeared from the shelves of local food stores. The shelves where those products should be are empty, and there is a club-wieldingBlack Panther Party representative advising shoppers to keep moving if they know what’s good for themselves...
I’d rather this be kept in the realm of political fiction.
I agree.....but it does run close to the thin edge of reality
They would do this if they could get away with it.
We are close
Anyone who believes that America deserves the AAA rating is a fool. But that is beside the point.
The first step to recovery is to admit that you have a problem. Obama is still in denial.
LOL
Great cartoon!
Real funny..
Moody’s, S&P Caved In to Ratings Pressure From Goldman, UBS Over Mortgages
Is S&P too big to be held liable? No one cares that it appears there is proof that S&P was one of the “key enablers of the financial meltdown” that led to this mess?
No one cares that only the collective (us) is made to pay for these shenanigans? That nobody, no-o-o-o-obody is accountable? That they are too big to fail and they are too big to be held accountable?
Yes, "SOMEONE at S&P leaked info." But hey! It's our fault -- not even Bush's. Ours.
"In a dramatic break with the tradition of private executions, fifteen high raking officers of the Standard and Poor's rating agency were publicly executed by firing squad today in New York City. The Times Square executions were witnessed by an estimated 10,000 screaming Obama supporters and by the president himself. Obama told the crowd that this would serve as a warning to anyone thinking about crossing him or his administration. The volley of gunfire was delivered by a special detachment of the Obama Civilian Defense Force. Attorney General Eric Holder was also on hand and was seen passing out candy to the many schoolchildren in attendance."
This is NOT SARCASM
Very interesting. The owner of S&P is McGraw Hill.
Note this:
—
Pre-Marketing: S&P for sale?
http://www.businessbrokerjournal.com/blog/pre-marketing-sp-for-sale
“Big breakup? Activists put pressure on S&P owner McGraw Hill “
Actually, the executions were carried out in Marcus Garvey Park in Harlem, just of Lenox Avenue, now renamed Reparations Road.
A vanity like this should be marked so in the title so others won’t waste time reading if not interested.
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