"In a dramatic break with the tradition of private executions, fifteen high raking officers of the Standard and Poor's rating agency were publicly executed by firing squad today in New York City. The Times Square executions were witnessed by an estimated 10,000 screaming Obama supporters and by the president himself. Obama told the crowd that this would serve as a warning to anyone thinking about crossing him or his administration. The volley of gunfire was delivered by a special detachment of the Obama Civilian Defense Force. Attorney General Eric Holder was also on hand and was seen passing out candy to the many schoolchildren in attendance."
Actually, the executions were carried out in Marcus Garvey Park in Harlem, just of Lenox Avenue, now renamed Reparations Road.