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Police: Woman Assaulted With Bratwurst
KCCI - Des Moines ^
| 7/26/11
| David Derong
Posted on 07/26/2011 11:37:45 AM PDT by Lmo56
DES MOINES, Iowa -- Des Moines police said woman living on the 1400 block of East 9th Street was assaulted with a bratwurst Monday night after refusing to fight with a homeless woman.
(Excerpt) Read more at kcci.com ...
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: assault; bangerlist; bratwurst; tasty
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In a related development ... the Des Moines Police Department issued an APB for the bratwurst:
It is described as armed, dangerous and ...EXTREMELY plump and tasty !!!
1
posted on
07/26/2011 11:37:52 AM PDT
by
Lmo56
To: Lmo56
When bratwursts are outlawed, only outlaws will have bratwursts.
2
posted on
07/26/2011 11:45:57 AM PDT
by
OB1kNOb
(Financial Repression.......it answers a lot of questions.....read about it on FinancialSense.com.)
To: Lmo56
Is that a bratwurst in your pocket or...?
3
posted on
07/26/2011 11:46:06 AM PDT
by
Free Vulcan
(Vote Republican! You can vote Democrat when you're dead.)
To: OB1kNOb
Bratwursts are protected by the 2nd Amendment ...
4
posted on
07/26/2011 11:48:49 AM PDT
by
Lmo56
(If ya wanna run with the big dawgs - ya gotta learn to piss in the tall grass ...)
To: Lmo56
Banks picked up a nearby bratwurst and hurled it at the victim’s chest. Police documented grease marks on Jones’ clothing for the police report. Good thing they weren't TSA agents or the woman would have been assaulted a second time as they documented/groped the grease mark area.
5
posted on
07/26/2011 11:50:14 AM PDT
by
OB1kNOb
(Financial Repression.......it answers a lot of questions.....read about it on FinancialSense.com.)
To: OB1kNOb
Never bring a kielbasa to a bratwurst fight.
To: Lmo56
Sargeant: "Did you collect the weapon as evidence?"
Patrolman: "Bbbuuurrrrp! Well....define "collect", Sarge...."
7
posted on
07/26/2011 11:54:52 AM PDT
by
OB1kNOb
(Financial Repression.......it answers a lot of questions.....read about it on FinancialSense.com.)
To: Lmo56
She could have simply eaten the Bratwurst, thus disarming the attacker.
8
posted on
07/26/2011 11:57:35 AM PDT
by
dfwgator
To: dfwgator
But what if she’d had a pointed stick?
9
posted on
07/26/2011 12:00:19 PM PDT
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(I don't have hobbies. I'm developing a robust post-apocalyptic skill set.)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
But what if she’d had a pointed stick?SHUT UP!!!!
10
posted on
07/26/2011 12:01:06 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
To: OB1kNOb
When bratwursts are outlawed, only outlaws will have bratwursts. From my cold, dead bun.
11
posted on
07/26/2011 12:04:30 PM PDT
by
Yo-Yo
(Is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
To: OB1kNOb
Banks picked up a nearby bratwurst... So many senseless tragedies could be averted if people just locked up their brats. Imagine if a kid got a hold of that brat and brought it to school...
To: Lmo56
Things quickly went from bad to wurst.
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
But what if she’d had a pointed stick?That would be terrible... remember this:
- Pointed stick = Bad
- Blunt stick = OK
- Bratwurst = Good Food
14
posted on
07/26/2011 12:19:32 PM PDT
by
ken in texas
(Can't Afford a Tagline... send money.)
To: Yo-Yo
15
posted on
07/26/2011 12:24:46 PM PDT
by
OB1kNOb
(Financial Repression.......it answers a lot of questions.....read about it on FinancialSense.com.)
To: Lmo56
It’s our right to bear brats.....
16
posted on
07/26/2011 12:27:16 PM PDT
by
OB1kNOb
(Financial Repression.......it answers a lot of questions.....read about it on FinancialSense.com.)
To: Lmo56
17
posted on
07/26/2011 12:33:36 PM PDT
by
NCjim
(Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.)
To: Lmo56
At least she wasn’t assulted with a Weiner.
18
posted on
07/26/2011 12:49:04 PM PDT
by
Zathras
To: Lmo56
Yum!
I’d like to be assaulted by a pizza!
19
posted on
07/26/2011 1:05:11 PM PDT
by
GnuHere
To: Lmo56
Hmm,Bill Clinton in town?
20
posted on
07/26/2011 1:25:00 PM PDT
by
peteyd
(A dog may bite you in the ass,but it will never stab you in the back.)
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