(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

We got yo money.
Gonna borrow mo money.
Gonna spend yo money.
Gonna print mo money.

*Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
 

*The Lord's prayer: 66 words.
 

*Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
 

*The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
 

*The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
 

*The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.
 

*U.S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.
 

 

...and that says it all.

Government Efficiency

I went into the Department of Motor Vehicles to obtain the title and license plates for my new truck.

After spending five minutes typing all my personal information into a computer, the DMV clerk pulled out a huge book to look up the excise tax for the vehicle. I mentioned that, since she had a networked computer, it would seem more efficient to just enter the information in the computer and have it look up the tax rather than create, print, and distribute such a large book.

She looked at me in that serious, governmental clerk manner and said, "They can't do that. The information changes too quickly."

Rules Of Washington D.C

- If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for.

- Don't lie, cheat or steal...unnecessarily.

- There is always one more son of a gun than you counted on.

- An honest answer can get you into a lot of trouble.

- The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

- Chicken little only has to be right once.

- "NO" is only an interim response.

- You can't kill a bad idea.

- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

- The truth is a variable.

- A porcupine with his quills down in just another fat rodent.

- You can agree with any concept or notional future option, in principle, but fight implementation every step of the way.

- A promise is not a guarantee.

- If you can't counter the argument, leave the meeting.

Very Taxing

A little boy wanted $100, badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Obama. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Obama thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:

Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

The Democratic Party

A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party?"

"About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly.

"NO!" exploded the teacher..."I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?"

"Well", replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall & every night he puts his hands to his chin and says 'I've had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!'"

[Lucky9teen]

[Currentriverrat]

woooo hoooo Tgif!

[Currentriverrat]

woooo hoooo Tgif!

[Rummyfan]

TOP FIVE!!!!!

Have a nice weekend all!

[Rummyfan]

TOP FIVE!!!!!

Have a nice weekend all!

[ShadowAce]

WooHoo!!! It’s Friday!!!

[Lucky9teen]

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CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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[Bean Counter]

IB4TP!

[CPOSharky]

More rules for buying gifts for men

Rule #6:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks” “Shorts” “Cups” “Saucers” “Door” “Lock” “Sink”... You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #7:
Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. No one knows why.

Rule #8:
Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?”

Rule #9:
Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why.

Rule #10:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don’t know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #11:
It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #12:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to their cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8” manila rope. No one knows why.

[rockabyebaby]

TOP 10

[Bean Counter]

[Aevery_Freeman]

Best one I've seen in a while...

[Monkey Face]

In!

[ErnBatavia]

Front and Center!

[Lucky9teen]

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

America's Got Talent 2011 - Silhouettes

[IM2MAD]

Not necessarily silliness but fun, nevertheless. Open (or cut and paste) the link and follow the instructions... Then "click me to get trippy", Look at the center of the screen for 30 seconds, and then.. Look at your hand holding the mouse, without moving it away from the mouse.. NOT BEFORE! (it is no joke, it is called "cenesthetic hallucination") http://www.neave.com/strobe/

[stephenjohnbanker]

LOL!!!!

[MarkL]

That’s really great! But where are rules 1 - 5?

Mark

[IYAS9YAS]

Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. No one knows why.

Meh. I love "some assembly required." I get to get my tools out, and maybe, just maybe, I'll have a really good excuse to buy a new tool.

[CPOSharky]

That’s really great! But where are rules 1 - 5?

Silliness two weeks ago.