*~*~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY THE 13TH SILLINESS THREAD~*~*

[Lucky9teen]

Click here to see recent feeds. Also to give credit where I got this....

	Prince William and Kate Middleton changed their relationship status to Married.
	Princess Diana Good luck with that!
	America likes the album "Hats!"
	America is back to hating monarchy.
	George Washington likes this.
	Katie Couric added "ABC (2011), Fox (2012), TMZ (2013), and QVC (2014)" to her Work and Education Info.
	Pope Benedict XVI sent Pope John Paul II a gift: Beautification.
	The Weather Channel posted an article: "Tornadoes Tear Through the South, Causing Devastation."
	General William Tecumseh Sherman likes this.
	Barack Obama posted a photo: "My Long-Form Birth Certificate."
	Barack Obama Now we can move onto more important things.
	Donald Trump Oh yeah? Like what?
	Osama Bin Laden is enjoying a cold can of Pepsi.
	Navy SEALs sent Osama Bin Laden a gift:
	Osama Bin Laden signed off.
	A Dung Beetle signed on.
	The Dalai Lama likes this.
	U.S. Special Operations Forces sent FBI Laboratory a gift: DNA Evidence
	Scientist It’s ... it’s not human.
	Fox News posted a video:
	ABC posted a note: "57 Million Watch Barack Obama’s Bin Laden Address."
	ABC Could you do that again tomorrow?
	Rush Limbaugh tagged Barack Obama in a note.
	Rush Limbaugh Obama’s speech was nothing but "me, me, me."
	David Axelrod Yeah, he should have put on a military uniform and like, stood on a boat with a sh** ton of Navy SEALs, and maybe had like a big banner that said "WE DID IT," or something similar.
	United States of America changed its name to USA!
	Joe Biden "America, f yeah." --Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
	Barack Obama was tagged in a photo: "Administration Officials Watch Bin Laden Raid."
	Joe Biden Actually, this was "Game of Thrones" night.
	Washington Post posted an article: "CIA Recovers Bin Laden Hard Drives, DVDs."
	CIA When he said he was waiting for "72 Virgins" to arrive, he wasn't talking about the afterlife.
	White House posted a note: "Osama Bin Laden died a cowardly death in a firefight defending $1 million mansion with swimming pools full of American dollar bills."
	Tom Clancy likes this.
	White House posted a note: "CORRECTION: Osama Bin Laden died."
	Saxby Chambliss I have seen the photo of Osama’s bloody corpse, and it’s not pretty.
	Harry Reid That was the cover of Time.
	Osama Bin Laden was tagged in a photo:
	Jay Carney We will not be releasing the photo of Osama Bin Laden with his skull blown to pieces, flecks of brain spattered everywhere, his mouth ringed with a light frothy foam, and his eye socket gaping wide like a tunnel to hell. It would be in poor taste.
	Osama Bin Laden joined the group Fishes
	The United States posted a note on Pakistan's Wall: "We need to talk."
	Pakistan Hahahaha why hahaha
	Modern Dog posted an article: "EXCLUSIVE: Interview With Dog That Caught Bin Laden."
	Hamas posted a note: "Bin Laden Was a Hero and a Martyr."
	Hillary Clinton You were THIS close to getting off the terror watch list.
	CNN posted an article: "Poll: Most Americans Say Bin Laden in Hell."
	Saddam Hussein Confirmed.
	Fox News posted an article: "Fireworks at First GOP Debate, as Tim Pawlenty Raises Voice Slightly."
	Barack Obama invited George W. Bush to the event Ground Zero Service.
	George W. Bush I refuse to attend another one of your campaign rally's, where all you will do is talk about yourself, give no credit to our brave military or show any respect for the lives that were lost.
	Barack Obama Oh.
	America added Closure to its Activities and Interests.
	Barack Obama Now, with this moment behind us, we can finally focus on fixing our problems at home.
	CNN posted an article: "POLL: 87 Percent of Americans Think Barack Obama Killed Osama Too Aloofly."
	Barack Obama is joining Friendster."

[Lucky9teen]

[ShadowAce]

IBTP!!

[Cpl. Dwayne Hicks]

Hello

[Envisioning]

IBTP! 3!

[paulycy]

IBTP
TOP 10!

[FroggyTheGremlim]

IBTP too!

[Lucky9teen]

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Happy Friday the 13th

Is it safe to come out?

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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Post in #1 submitted by FReeper upchuck

[CPOSharky]

IATP

Kid science from teachers
~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.

~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.

~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.

~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
( Now why didn’t we think of that!)

[NCC-1701]

TOP TEN!!! ( I hope I made It).

[Dead Corpse]

Bump tagga-bump...

[paulycy]

Friday the 13th!

[Ronin]

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

It's pretty hard to argue with that.

[CPOSharky]

Friday the 13th!

Yea! Dontcha just hate it when Friday the 13th falls an another day of the week?

[paulycy]

Yea! Dontcha just hate it when Friday the 13th falls an another day of the week?

When I was a kid I always liked it when Halloween was on Friday the 13th.

[blau993]

I refuse to attend another one of your campaign rally's,

I think President Bush actually knows how to spell and how not to spell the word "rallies." Apostrophes can be your friends, but only when you learn how and when to use them and not use them.

[TexasCajun]

"I Used To Be Confused, Just Like You Sweetie."

[Pan_Yan]

That Facebook page is not too far from reality.

Tweet the Taliban? Terror Group Joins Twitter

[blau993]

Whenever I think quips like these can’t possibly be real, I remember this answer to a community college history exam. My friend, who teaches History at the school, had asked the students to list events that caused the First World War. One student wrote: “Somebody shot the Duck and Duckess of Austria.”

[unique]

Donkey

Barrack Obama was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo.
Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Obama says to the chauffeur: ‘You get out and check, you were driving.’
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

‘You were driving; go and tell the farmer,’ says Obama.
Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.

‘My god, what happened to you?’ asks Obama.
The chauffeur replies: ‘When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.’

‘What on earth did you say to them?’ asks Obama.
‘I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, ‘I’m Barrack Obama’s chauffeur and I’ve just killed the jackass.
_____

A woman is sitting on the veranda with her husband and she says,

“I love you.”

He asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”

She replies, “It’s me............. talking to the wine.”
_____

[ErnBatavia]

Page one, above the fold bump!