Posted on 04/15/2011 12:43:50 PM PDT by decimon
ORLANDO, Fla (Reuters) More than half of Baby Boom-generation mothers support adult children financially and 60 percent are the go-to person when their grown kids encounter problems, according to a survey issued on Thursday.
That trend contrasted with the 86 percent of those 46- to 65-year-old women surveyed who said they were fully independent of their own parents by age 25.
"We wanted to get the hell out as soon as possible," said Liz Kitchens, a partner in The Kitchens Group, a public opinion research firm in Orlando, Florida, that conducted the survey.
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Helen Bernstein, a 54-year-old former office worker from Casselberry, Florida, said her grown daughter moved back home with a new husband for a short time in 2008 while the young couple saved for a home of their own.
Bernstein now happily babysits full-time for her new grandchild but said returning home was something she herself never would have done.
"I left home at 17 and never looked back," she said. "I felt like once I left my parents' house, I would have been a failure to go back."
Denise Beumer, a 58-year-old manager of a bank branch near Orlando, has helped support two of her six adult children.
Although she moved back to her mother's home as a young divorcee, Beumer said her attitude was different.
"I didn't expect my mother to treat me like a child," Beumer said. "My son, he can't put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's like they feel it's an entitlement. I'm wondering if I made things too easy for them."
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
I’d join the military this very second if a bastard wasn’t the commander in chief.
I’m considering moving to another state to find a job. I first need to complete a training program and then we’ll see what happens.
“it’s time to take a deep breath, suck it up and move on.”
Time is running out and I fully expect nothing but disaster.
Just this week mine ripped my heart out and stomped on it with the teen attitude and "I hate you" crap. Fine, here's a little tough love since you're so big that you don't need anything from us anymore - get your own car insurance, pay for your own college, pay your own rent and everything else. My heart couldn't take any more of the bs and now it's having to deal with something similar to a divorce. I don't know where, how, or what we did that was so bad but, as you say, whatever.
I haven't had a mortgage for over a decade. Good thing because we couldn't afford one now days.
I haven't had a mortgage for over a decade. Good thing because we couldn't afford one now days.
Well, there's the problem. Move out of CT. Go where the jobs are and there are jobs out there. It's not all doom and gloom on the job market as the msm wants you to believe. Take a leap of faith. Go west, young man.
I was born in 1960. Left my parents at 16, had my son. He is now 34 and living at home with us. He had a contract for 2 months... we are going on 3 right now. He is college educated, made very bad choices for 14 years, bad credit, job hopped, and now doing an 8.00 a hour job. He has turned his life around but no way, he can make rent on that income. I admit I made mistakes in raising him. We live today One day at a time!!
I have family down in Arizona so I may move there.
Boy can I relate to your story. I have had my heart broken so many times over my kid. I would NEVER have spoken to my parents like mine did and sometimes continue to do to me. I know now I have “helped” to much and she hates me for it. I continue to feel guilty that I must have been a pretty rotten parent for her to turn out the way she did.
Great idea. A change of scenery and climate might also do a world of good so sounds like it’s good all the way around.
I have no idea if this would apply to you, but...
When I got in to my forties, and after a bout of hepatitis, I began to fall apart. Until then I’d always been strong. I experienced what was probably hypoglycemia. I developed an arthritis-like condition in my joints. Etc.
So I tried a low-carb diet. Got down to maybe fifty grams of carbs a day on weekdays. Weekends I ate pretty much what I pleased. Damn near miraculous. My physical problems went away.
If nothing else has worked and you haven’t tried the low carb thing then you might want to try. One more thing - I didn’t use a regimented diet like Atkins cuz I knew I wouldn’t stick to it. I just started working down the carbs.
I know this is a bad sign - but I'm not sure why...
I am not talking about “failure to launch” kids, who sit in their parent’s basement and play video games all day.
I mean, the idea that productive kids should not live with their parents seems, to me, silly.
My grandparents had a farm... my great uncle lived on one corner, my uncle on another, my cousins on a couple more ...everybody worked the farm, and at other jobs.
My parents were considered wierd, because they ran off to the big city.
“We live today One day at a time!!”
Keep doing that - it works.
So, I know one person now (and I’m only counting you once, even tho you posted twice! ;) )
Well, I think that’s fine, but I didn’t take that to be what this article was about. Maybe so. Most of the people I know with kids living with them have kids who haven’t ever really done anything (or girls who have split from boyfriends and have kids, and now they need someone to support them). And I don’t blame grandparents for taking them in. I wouldn’t toss my grandkids out to the wolves. In fact, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t toss my kids out either, altho I have on occasion done some tough love.
I do think families living together, if everyone is pulling their weight is fine tho. I think it’s how things were intended to be. Living in isolation is not normal, and I agree with you there. When I was in high school we lived next door to my grandparents for 2 years. It was awesome. I will always treasure that. Having moved around a lot growing up (Dad was military and then worked for defense contractors) it was the only time I had been near them physically). I was especially glad since my Grandfather passed away not many years later after I was married.
But, the kids who stay home because they would rather be taken care of are the ones that concern me.
“Im frustrated and angry to still be living with my parents at age 26. If this **** keeps up then Ill just put a ****ing bullet through my head. Time is running out.”
Have you considered joining the military or moving out of state where more jobs are available?
I just can’t take the drama and anger anymore. I’ve tried not to get into her business but she’s lashing out at all of us because she’s got the idea we’re smothering her. Excuse me, but I don’t call unless it’s something important like paying a college bill and certainly not to visit because that’s “getting in her business” again. Despite college being just an hour away, I haven’t been on campus but twice all year - once when we helped move her into the dorm and once when we went to an event held on campus so we took her out for lunch. She rarely calls us and has only called her grandparents twice. She rarely comes home and then it’s one crafted disaster after another. She went from tops in her class to losing all her scholarships because she can’t seem to get to class. We finally just gave in and cut all ties. If she hates us and doesn’t want anything from us anymore, then so be it. I handed her all her bills the other day and that was that. The last thing hubby said was we’ll see you in five years. It’s killing my soul but that’s that. It’s finished. It’s done. I loved the child she used to be but I have no idea who this angry stranger is.
I think CFS has always been with us, just nameless and not understood. I have worked with people that needed to drink coffee all day to function, likely they had CFS.
Grandma currently lives two blocks over. She is bug-house nuts (89), but my brother and his wife live with her, to help out.
His daughter (my niece), and granddaughter live with us.
Everybody pulls their freight, and that is fine with me.
“Its because Adderol destroys sex drive.”
I have been on Adderall for a year now and my wife can attest that it does not.
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