I wouldn’t want to be that guy in the can...
“What you in for?”
“I stole money from little girls running a lemonade stand raising money for a sick child.”
“I stole money from little girls running a lemonade stand raising money for a sick child.”
The guards should make sure that nobody needs to ask this little asswipe what he's in for.
Example converstation:
Guard: Hi Big Ed, this is Gage. He's in here because he robbed a little girl's lemonade stand of the money she was raising for her sick baby cousin. Yeah, this tough guy grabbed a little girl's money jar. Could you introduce him around to the other guys for me!