Posted on 04/01/2011 4:48:08 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
Who knew that the pinnacle of successful parenting is acceptance to Harvard?
Gee, glad Asians are stereotyping themselves.
Who knew that the pinnacle of successful parenting is acceptance to Harvard?
Gee, glad Asians aren’t stereotyping themselves.
“But there are ways to achieve it that don’t include calling your kid names.”
It certainly does in my book, and I’ll stick my results, EARNED self-esteem of my kids up against ANYONE. I’ve always said that if I wrote a book about raising kids, the title would be: “You Ain’t Shiite” (although I would use an American swear term in place of the religious reference).
It’s a phrase that I’ve used numerous times on all my kids. It basically tells them to stop acting like they’re the center of the world and accept the fact they are an ant, in our society. In essence, it tells them to start growing up and they’ll be praised when they deserve it, and will be told otherwise (in no uncertain terms) when they don’t.
But I do have some problems with Amy, particularly the hours (a day) of music she put them through. My (immigrant) wife started that also and I put up with it (and the associated screaming by everyone), but finally came down on the side of kids and we did get past that.
But overall, the LAST THING that I do is coddle my kids...it just wrecks them for life. If they’re a jerk, I sure as heck let them know it, and in a way that I would (and did) talk in high school.
Successful child abuse.
IMHO, you don’t need to call kids names to teach them what the world is like.
We run, as best we can, a biblically oriented household. The bible is full of ways we should be kind to one another, but is also mindful of just how unjust and difficult life is and how important it is to develop true wisdom.
My son has worked since he was 12, was holding down a major part time job since 13, working full time at 16. I don’t believe in allowance. It’s an artificial construct that teaches kids money just comes. So they knew the world’s ways from the beginning.
The home should be a sanctuary from the harshness of the world, by everyone working together and loving one another. Just the same, once you walk out the door there’s no mercy.
BTW, one of my kids is a musician. I have to come down on him to get the instruments OUT of his hands. Started by teaching himself, and then at 15 took a job to pay for lessons.
“The home should be a sanctuary from the harshness of the world, by everyone working together and loving one another. Just the same, once you walk out the door there’s no mercy.”
Believe me, my kids have no problem knowing their loved. But they also know that, at least this pair of parents, understand the need to toughen them up to face that real world.
...and they understand that NO PLACE is safe for them when they act up in front of us.
...and I agree with you on allowances. It TOTALLY seems like a liberal construct. Our kids are expected to do what they’re told. And, as I repeat many time, I NEVER make them do something that I haven’t done recently - I live the commands that I send to them. And, when they do as they’re told (and behave), they’re on pretty good ground for getting toys...which often means a lot of them. But NO ALLOWANCES. You earn EVERYTHING, one way or another.
As to names, they don’t hurt if they’re earned (by the kid), and the kid knows he’s loved. Not a problem. But the names (and similar outbursts by me) make it more than clear when I’m angry, and A LOT of parents have trouble communicating that point - and that does screw up the kids, because they can’t figure out what they’ve done wrong, if anything. With my kids, when they were young, it was a spank without me saying a word, until after - that worked great.
“Successful child abuse.”
No, raising a kid in a traditional manner. The way it was done for the first 4,930 years of recorded human history.
If you think that yelling and an occasional spanking is “ABUSE”, you’ve spent WAY too much time in psych classes (and actually believed that crap).
“BTW, one of my kids is a musician. I have to come down on him to get the instruments OUT of his hands. Started by teaching himself, and then at 15 took a job to pay for lessons.”
Nice...it goes both ways. You still need your kids to take a few minutes off and study. I could never see a connection between music and success, which is why I didn’t push it (at all) in my family (even if the music lobby insists that kids who can’t play piano can never learn math).
But certainly no harm in it (in moderation), if the kid enjoys it. I’m reading a book on Bobby Fischer...and you really get to understand what a true obsession is...and it is scary as parent to see.
Kids have been pulling a fast one on their parents since the beginning of time. It doesn’t give you the right to abuse your kids.
“Kids have been pulling a fast one on their parents since the beginning of time. It doesn’t give you the right to abuse your kids.”
Liberal talking points...yawn.
http://dreamcatchersforabusedchildren.com/volunteer/photosimages/
Nope. It is reality. You are too afraid to live in the real world.
“Nope. It is reality. You are too afraid to live in the real world.”
You are a very DANGEROUS PERSON to anyone trying to be a parent. I pity you.
Not unless her parents gross income for that period is two million dollars. Harvard only charges a max of ten percent of parental income. Not one penny more. Nothing for dorm fees, student fees or any other nickel and dime fees. And the work load at Harvard is not very demanding. Four classes per semester. Thirty two classes total for any four year degree.
Trivial counterexample: Teh One.
Cheers!
We certainly are diverse. We have tiger moms and ghetto whores.
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